Akatsuki Pro
by Drake S. Hellion
Summary: The Akatsuki have given up their futile attempts at capturing the blond fool, so now, they do something else that makes their days go by, all tha while keeping them sharp...Gaming, yes, click and read to find out, I do not own anything mentioned, RnR plz.
1. Chapter 1

Akatsuki Pro.

**Disclaimer: I do not Own Halo, Akatsuki or any other copyrighted material in the following story (or any of my stories).**

Pein: Explain to me why you decided to do this?

Drake Hellion: rather simple, I thought it would good for some more variety.

Pein: by mixing Akatsuki and Halo 3 addiction?

Drake Hellion: yeah, is there a problem?

Pein: not thus far, no, but what if you get no reviews? or favs? or anything from this?

Drake Hellion: Then I am sad...

Pein: sur-

Drake Hellion: Sad that I have to delete this that is.

Pein: ugh....anyways, onto the Story, please read, and if you can read, would you please be so kind as to leave a review while your at it.

Drake Hellion: Overkill!

* * *

Chapter 1.

Gametype: Team Slayer

Map: Last Resort

3...2...1

Beep!

A read Spartan dropped into the match and glanced around as three others did the same.

"Grab the sniper rifle! Art! Laser duty belongs to you Puppet! And Mangekyou! Grab a mongoose! I want this game ending in OUR favor!" the red Spartan with full HAYABUSA armor commanded quickly.

Another Spartan with CQB helmet, chest and E.V.A shoulders nodded and picked up the rifle sitting in front of them.

The third with standard armor nodded and made a break for the base.

XxArtBlastxX sniped roflcopter!

Gained the lead!

"Suck it yeah!" The Spartan holding the rifle yelled as the last Spartan drove up the stairs with a mongoose and honked the horn.

"keep them pinned on that side Deidara…me and Itachi will get a angle and BR them" the leading Spartan ordered.

"understood yeah!" ArtBlast replied while taking another shot

XxArtBlastxX sniped TwinkieEvo22

"I have laser" the third Spartan, PuppetxMaster, spoke boredly as he dropped his magnum for a the Spartan laser.

"Good job, get in an angle and fire on my word and no sooner, got it?!" the leader Spartan asked as he and Mangekyou stopped at the beach and ran up the stairs to get a better angle on the enemy team.

"careful Realm! Two headed your way!" Art stated as he took aim at someone hiding behind some cover "and boom!" he yelled as he fired.

XxArtBlastxX sniped PwnPro

Several minutes later…

Game over!

In the lobby

XxArtBlastxX: haha! You all got owned so badly! Yeah.

Roflcopter: hell with you! No lifer piece of shit!

PuppetxMaster: someone's a little sore about losing.

God_Realm: enough! Lets go, we've met our qouta for today

Leaving lobby

Pein sighed and removed his headset from his orange hair, his grey ringed eyes tired from lack of sleep, glancing at the clock he read 4:32 AM.

He yawned and turned off his brand new 360, before standing and walking over to his bed that was a few feet away "Pein! The hell!? Why did you offline!?" he heard Deidara yelled from down the hall, the disappointment in his voice clear.

Pein sighed and turned his head so his voice would not be muffled by his pillow "Cause we've been up for six straight hours of Halo 3! I am tired and need sleep…" he paused "in fact, I want all of you asleep now!" he added.

There was silence…

"Party crasher!" Deidara called back after awhile.

"whatever…" Pein mumbled falling asleep instantly.

You see, its been like this for a few days, five to be exact, the Akatsuki had decided instead of trying to capture Naruto and kill him, they would play the 360 and Halo 3, which was much more entertaining then chasing a blond idiot with horrible choice in clothes.

Pein, or God_Realm as was his Gamertag, had purchased the Xbox 360 as a means of killing time only, till he bought Halo 3 and the things became the Akatsuki's goal, being the best.

His three team mates were as follows.

XxArtBlastxX was Deidara, go figure, he was the Team sniper for his skill with the sniper rifle, everyone thought he would like the rocket launcher, but nah.

Mangekyou was none other then Itachi, who was the driver and all around reliable guy who had a mean BR.

PuppetxMaster was Sasori, their heavy weapons specialist and lone wolf.

And Pein was the leader, his skills were wide, each weapon he adapted to, but not fully mastered them, he was quick to think and decisive.

Together…

They were Team Akatsuki!!!

And when combined with the other Akatsuki…

They were…

Clan Akatsuki!!!

And this, is there adventures in the world of Halo 3 online.

* * *

Pein: I will admit, I like how you described me, a leader with calculating skills, but come on, I could not get tired over such a task as..gaming.

Drake Hellion: have you ever played Halo for six hours straight? its no picnic.

Pein points up.

Drake Hellion: shut up...


	2. Chapter 2

Akatsuki Pro.

Disclaimer: I do not Own Halo, Akatsuki or any other copyrighted material in the following story (or any of my stories).

Pein: it hasn't even been a day and you updated…I bet a lot of people wish you were this fast with Fate of Four, A new Itachi and Brother's Oblivion.

Drake Hellion: I updated a new Itachi just…what, a week ago? It could be worse, I could update next freaking year!

Pein: true.

Drake Hellion: besides, art cannot be rushed.

Pein: ugh…anywho, onto the very fast chapter which is longer.

Drake Hellion: that's what sh-

Pein: Shinra Tensei!

Drake promptly goes flying through a wall.

Pein: no, that is not what she said…

* * *

Chapter 2.

Beep Beep Beep!

"ugh…damn alarm clock! Feels gods wrath! Shinra Tensei!" the clock when flying through the wall and Pein tried to fall back to sleep.

Suddenly his door flew open and in walked Konan, she was wearing a oversized white shirt and a shorts that went below her knees, and her eyes half lidded and she yawned "wake up Pein" she mumbled as she walked over to the curtain of his window.

"Konan NO!" Pein shouted as she opened the curtains quickly and flinched as the light shined into the once dark room.

"UGH!" Pein hissed and rolled off his bed away from the light "By the prophets! I am blinded!" he growled as he hid under his blanket.

"Pein…did you just qoute an Elite?" Konan asked blinking slightly as if she heard wrong.

"the proper term is Sangheili, Elite is just nickname given to them by UNSC" Pein corrected as he stood, the light no longer blinding him.

Konan slowly nodded "right…well, Deidara and Sasori are already awake and left to go get make some money, that cable high speed is pretty expensive" she commented idly as she picked up his controller and rolled her eyes "and watch where you put this, I might step on it and break it" she stated.

Pein chuckled "no, I put a jutsu on it to make near indestructible, that is my tool of destruction, much to popular belief it's the BR, but you get my meaning" he explained getting over to his dresser and pulling his mesh shirt and ninja pants.

"Alright" Konan said leaving the room and closing the door "a little excessive" she mumbled.

* * *

In the dining room there sat Hidan and Kakuzu.

**Hidan**

**Designation: Jashins_Assassin.**

**Specialty: Sneaking and Camping.**

**Preferred Weapon: Gravity Hammer**

"morning Konan, we still on for tonight?" he asked flashing her a slight smile.

Konan rolled her eyes and reached for some toast "if you mean our Halo matches then yes, we are, but if you mean that date I declined…oh four times already, then no" she replied as she sat down.

**Konan**

**Designation: Paper**

**Specialty: Assisting allies and expert Sniper.**

**Preferred Weapon: Beam Rifle**.

"just watch, on day you'll fall for my charms and give in" Hidan stated smugly and then drank a glass of milk "keep watching my back and I'll watch yours" he stated calmly as he stood and put the milk carton away.

"Hidan…shut up, can't you see I'm reading the morning paper, who knows what jobs I might find in here for some easy money" Kakuzu ordered and explained as he flipped the pages.

"thanks Kakuzu" Konan said with a smile.

"You too, shut up" Kakuzu returned and Konan's smile faded and was replaced with a frown.

"you're an ass" Konan stated getting and biting her toast, then walking away.

"a rich ass thank you very much" Kakuzu muttered calmly.

Konan then walked over to Itachi's room, which the door was open, taking a peak she saw he was sitting by the window, his eyes focused on something.

Curiosity getting the better of her "Itachi…" she called.

Itachi's eyes darted to her with a small glare and then softened "yes Konan?" he asked smoothly.

"what are you doing?" she asked walking fully into his room, which was clean, as always.

"I was replaying last nights matches in my mind to see where I could improve my skills…In those 25 matches I deduced I need to increase my accuracy with the sniper rifle, I have to get rid of that habit of reloading every time I fire a shotgun and my driving needs work" he explained.

Konan just stared "Itachi…I have no clue what you just said, but I'll support you all the way" and she left to check out the last of Akatsuki's rooms, well, the Akatsuki who were present that is.

"Kisame, you here?" she called opening the door.

She glanced around the dark room, there was barely any sound, but a loud snoring, she snorted and flicked the lights on "Wake up!" she yelled as Kisame bolted up and instead of grabbing his Samehada he reached for his game controller.

"oh…hehe, morning Konan" he greeted with a wave as he put his controller and down closed his eyes, ready for when Konan opened his curtains and let the light in.

**Kisame**

**Designation: Samehada**

**Specialty: heavy weapons and tanks.**

**Preferred weapon: Rocket Launcher.**

"Morning Kisame, go eat breakfast and then go out and do those two missions with Itachi in which we can pay our bills for the ridiculously priced high speed you all insist is needed" she said a little TOO in detail as she walked off.

Kisame nodded nonetheless and proceeded to get into his ninja clothes.

Konan sighed and stepped into her room while closing the door, she had completed her duties for the morning, that meant…

Her eyes darted over to the 360 sitting on her computer desk, her blue controller at its side.

"time to play" she licked her lips and walked over to it and took the controller.

Signing…

She put Halo 3 in and soon she was in the matchmaking menu "hmm…Lone wolves." she mumbled selected the play list and bam.

Beep Beep Beep.

Gametype: Slayer BRs

Map: The Pit

3...2...1 BEEP!

A dark blue Spartan spawned in wearing a ODST helmet, HAYABUSA chest and normal shoulders…

Problem was she spawned right in front of someone

1337Elite assassinated Paper!

Lost the lead!

Konan glared at her screen "that no good little…" she growled.

Once she spanwed in on blue snipe tower she jumped down and saw the sniper was gone "damn" she muttered turning and seeing a small gunfight going in control room, with a smirk she tossed a grenades into the side opening above the room

BOOM!

Double Kill!

She smiled and walked in, picking up the sniper rifle and shotgun she hurried out before whoever she killed came back for their equipment.

"Noob!" a pink Spartan yelled dropping from the sniper tower above her, looking up she was immediately shot with a BR and melee'd to death.

She watched as the Spartan walked over her body and…

"is that piece of shit tea-bagging me?!" she nearly yelled in anger as a vain appeared on her head.

After spawning she pulled out a MP3 and blasted the music, her eyes narrowed "your all going to die!" she yelled.

"Konan! Shut up I'm reading the paper!" Kakuzu called, oblivious to the fact Konan could not hear him.

Several moments of death, destruction and doom later…

Game Over!

Konan's points: 25

Pink Spartan tea-bagging ass points: 8

Winner is very clear.

Lobby

Paper: Tea-bag me biatch!

Pink Spartan:…

Random player: you're a girl?

Random Player 2: you're a girl who has skills?

Pink Spartan: wow…hey, here's a friend re-

Paper has left

Leaving lobby.

Konan sighed and removed her headset, that was the problem with being female gamer, your either suck so hard at the game people hate on you deadly for it, or your so skilled everyone decides to be friendly for no apparent reason.

"Konan! I have a problem! Sewer backed up!" Pein called.

Konan gagged as the smell flooded the base quickly.

**End of chapter 2.**

**Pein: well, that was longer then the last.**

**Drake Hellion crawls back through hole in the wall: thank you…and the Shinra Tensei was uncalled for.**

**Pein: perhaps, but anyways, you got a review already, I believe congratulations are in order.**

**Drake Hellion: that's not needed.**

**Pein laughs: not from me fool, I would never congratulate you even if you defeated Chuck Norris.**

**Drake Hellion: Ugh…**

**Pein: so why did you write** **this chapter so quickly?**

Drake Hellion: I felt like I needed to, since the first was so damn short

Pein: ah, well goodbye everyone, review if you can **please.**


	3. Chapter 3

Akatsuki Pro.

Disclaimer: I do not Own Halo, Akatsuki or any other copyrighted material in the following story (or any of my stories).

**Pein: Drake…I must insist this chapter not be posted…I sound pathetic.**

**Drake: Insistence is noted Pein, but I am the author.**

**Pein: I order you to not post it!**

**Drake grins.**

**Drake: Too late.**

**Pein: damn you…**

**Chapter 3.**

"Konan! What is this…this…" Pein stopped his angry shout looking for the right word, he nodded, apparently finding the right word.

"This heresy!?" he pointed to the plate of scrambled eggs and toast, Konan raised a brow "Eggs and toast?…Konan, Its healthy and all, but you forgot something very important" Pein stated glaring at the food.

"and that is?…" Konan asked, obviously not getting the point.

"You forgot to butter the toast, the eggs don't nearly scrambled enough and oh, look at that, orange juice instead of milk! Konan, I am disappointed in you" Pein stated moodily.

Konan stared, and stared, and stared "right…" she drawled and drank her orange juice "Pein…I was up all night playing Halo with Hidan and Kakuzu…in fact, I haven't slept yet, so don't get on my case about something as trivial as breakfast!" she raised her voice at the last part.

Pein glared coldly at her "Go to your room!" he snapped pointed down the hall.

She glared back "No!" she retorted childishly.

He narrowed his eyes and spoke very threateningly "Right now, Konan!" he barked.

"Hell to the no!"

"Now!"

"Never!"

"Now you blue haired bitch!"

"No you power hungry bastard!"

"Get in that piece of hell you call a room or gods help me Konan, I will make you!" Pein stated taking a step forward from his seat.

Konan stood up from hers and took a step closer as well "Try it tough guy" she hissed.

Pein stared into her eyes with fury, she stared back just as much, if not more.

Hidan, who was watching the exchange from the start calmly walked over and grabbed Pein's breakfast, lifting he asked "You eating this boss man?" he asked.

Pein shook his head slightly, not breaking eyes contact with Konan.

Hidan grinned and took it back to his room to chow down.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Deidara's room.

Said was sitting in his room, chatting on MSN, happily typing things on the keyboard.

Deidara say:

Getting online in five. Play?

Akasuna says:

Yeah, I'm online now with Kisame actually, hurry up, Itachi is going to be joining us, and we'll need a fourth for team slayer.

Deidara grinned happily and logged out, practically skipping to his 360, he turned it on and signed into Halo.

As soon as he did…

PuppetxMaster wants to play Halo 3.

Deidara accepted the invite and entered the party.

"Hello danna! Kisame! Bastard!" he aid the last with disgust.

"hey brat" Kisame and Sasori greeted.

"Hello" Itachi intoned calmly.

"start search!"

And so they began looking for a game.

* * *

Meanwhile with Pein and Konan.

"I'm sorry I called you a blue haired bitch…" Pein murmured, rubbing his head, Konan stood beside him, her hair dishevelled and scratches across her clothing, a rolling pin in her hands, the kitchen was a mess. Completely mess.

Pein was also in bad shape, he had been winning the slight struggle when he hefted Konan over his shoulder, hoping to carry her to her room and lock her in, but it went against him when she grabbed the rolling pin.

"And?" she questioned, hitter her palm with the rolling pin for emphasis.

"And that I hefted you over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes" he replied.

"Good boy" she tapped him on the head like a dog.

And he growled like one.

Meanwhile.

"OMFG! HAXORZZ!" a random nine year old screamed as Deidara sniped him in the head.

"Fucking piece of shit hackers! Go die in you freezer!" the same kid yelled.

Deidara sniped him again.

The map was high ground, and the other team kept tossing themselves at Akatsuki like cannon fodder.

Mangekyou lasered I_DaBeast

PuppetxMaster stuck YouIzNoSkittles

Samehada beat down Skitts.

Needless to say, the score was pretty uneven.

44 to -1 (Skitts stuck himself as Sasori deployed a bubble shield, it was majorly funny got those watching)

"Damn…this is no challenge at all, where the hell did these kids buy their 50s?" Kisame muttered as he reloaded his shotgun.

"Ebay…" Itachi replied calmly as he ninja'd Skitts.

Game over! Red team wins.

Lobby

Skitts: oh my god, your all hackers.

PuppetxMaster: yeah yeah, leave already.

YouIzNoSkittles: fuck you!

Mother: did you just swear!?

YouIzNoSkittles: No! I said Forget You!

Mother: Lie to me you little shit! I'm getting your fathers belt!

YouIzNoSkittles: NO!!!!

XxArtBlastxX: heh, gonna get it now little punk, little boys shouldn't swear hmm.

Left lobby.

Deidara removed his headset and sighed contently, that ending was funny, and it made him laugh.

Stitches has joined the game.

Jashins_Assassin has joined the game.

"Sup suckas?" Hidan asked.

"Nothing, but you missed the funniest shit I have heard yet, this kid was all swearing and his mom heard and it was..ohm, it was a you-have-to-be-there moment" Deidara stated.

"Shit…Kakuzu, you there?"

"counting my MS points…never know if someone hacked…then they need to die" replied Kakuzu.

"right…"

**

* * *

**

**End of chapter 3.**

**Pein: I feel my pride has shattered.**

**Drake: oh come on, wasn't that bad.**

**Pein: says you, ignorant fool.**

**Drake: whatever, chapter's done for now.**

**Pein: Shinra Tensei!**

**Drake goes flying.**


	4. Chapter 4

Akatsuki Pro.

**Disclaimer: I do not Own Halo, Akatsuki or any other copyrighted material in the following story (or any of my stories).**

**Kisame: and we're back! I know what you might be thinking, 'where's Pein?' well it goes something like thi-**

**Drake: Shinra Tensei me…and pay bitch**

**Kisame grins**

**Kisame: Pein won't be out of the hospital for a bit, so I'm taking over as co-Chapter opener.**

**Drake: Indeed you are Kisame, don't make Pein's mistake.**

**Kisame: I won't, now lets get this done!**

**Drake: indeed, here's the chapter, enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 4: We lost?!**

Deidara grinned as the had won their 16th match in a row, going for the seventeen "Deidara" Sasori called though the mic.

"Yeah hmm?" Deidara answered, sitting up.

"What the hell happened to the chocolate cake?" there was silence.

"ugh…" Hidan groaned "I think it gave me gas…" he stated.

"you know Konan is going to strangle you when she finds it gone right?" Sasori stated, obviously not caring.

"Only if you fucks rat me out" Hidan retorted.

"I'm gonna do it" Deidara stated.

"Same" Sasori, Kakuzu, Kisame and Itachi chorused.

"Fuckers" Hidan grumbled.

"shh, we found a match" Kisame stated, everyone was suddenly focused and staring intently at the screen.

Team Slayer on Standoff.

3...2...1...BEEP!

And so the six Akatsuki spawned in "alright guys, make it rain!" all six began tossing their grenades are the enemy base.

Receiving no kills, but they managed to grab the laser, retreating back they regrouped "the hell? Where are they?" Deidara asked, glancing around.

"Must be hiding in the base" Kisame answered, everyone nodded to their screens.

* * *

Meanwhile.

Pein stood in a poorly lit room, in the middle of a single light was Naruto Uzumaki, duct taped to the chair.

Beside him stood Konan and Zetsu, slowly Pein leaned down, his face close to Naruto's "Information" he said calmly, Naruto glared and said nothing, Pein leaned back up and paced around him, then a glance at the ceiling, he took a breath, staring straight at Naruto he said more loudly "Information…"

Naruto stuck his tongue out at him.

He smirked and backhanded him "Information!" he yelled, getting ready and backhanding him again,

Naruto coughed and smirked at him "go get stuck on a giant magnet" he muttered.

Pein chuckled and punched Naruto in the gut, his mouth by his ear "information" he whispered, pulling back and punching him again "Information!" again "Infor-" again "Mation!" and again.

Naruto coughed up blood "never!" he yelled, being backhanded and falling over, hitting the concrete floor.

Pein turned to Zetsu "sit him up" turning to Konan "Get me my knife collection" he ordered, they nodded and did their orders.

Naruto was set up again, Konan walked in and handed Pein a retardedly large knife "last chance" he glanced at Naruto, who was wide eyed with terror "information" he said walking to him.

Naruto grit his teeth "never!" Pein chuckled and lowered the knife to Naruto face and…

* * *

"Pein! Pein wake up!" Konan was standing beside Pein's bed, Pein was sleeping, and what looked he was strangling his pillow, a malicious smirk on his face and he was chuckling "Pein!" she yelled, causing him to jump and sit up "finally" she muttered.

Pein glanced around and then his eyes landed on Konan "oh…uh…what?" he asked, slightly annoyed he could not finish his dream of torturing Naruto.

"I just thought I'd inform you that Hidan, Deidara, and Kisame are currently tearing the house apart" she reported.

"shit…" Pein stood and ran out his room, getting to the living room he noticed Deidara looking sullen, he looked so downed, Kisame was sighing and switching channels, Hidan was reading the newspaper "holy shit.,." he mumbled seeing the last one.

"Hey boss man…" Deidara greeted flatly, now Pein knew something was horribly wrong.

"information!" he yelled and stomped his foot "Now!" he added.

"we lost at Halo" Pein jumped and saw Itachi eating a jug of ice cream "what?" Itachi asked seeing everyone's eyes on him, holding the ice cream protectively he muttered "mine"

Pein glared and easily ripped it from his grasp "any man in this room who wants to keep his life, tell what the hell happened, he turned to Kisame "and turned that shit you call teletubbie off!" the TV turned off.

"we lost…simple" Sasori walked in and sat down, drinking some coffee, now this would be normal, if Sasori didn't at all, he was a puppet.

Pein glared "alright..." he took a breath to calm down "I want someone to explain how you lost, who you lost to" he glanced around the room, sure enough, every eye was on him, Deidara was still watching the TV "Deidara!" he hissed "attention you hapless fool" he growled.

"Well..." Itachi started "he were playing Standoff, when we started we could not find them, and after checking the base, it went to black screen for a bit, one of their guys quit out, and then they..." he sighed "the worthogs...oh god...the worthogs...the splatters...the sticks..." Itachi mumbled, shivering slightly.

Pein stared "everyone to your rooms" Pein ordered calmly, everyone raised a brow at him "You all heard me, everyone who was involved in this heresy get to your rooms!" he barked.

Everyone stood and sat, staring "unless…" Pein cracked his knuckles "you all think you can take me?" he asked, his eyes narrowing as everyone moved for a weapon.

"so, the hard way eh?" Pein chuckled "fine then, I was pissed since my dream was interrupted" he stated.

**End of chapter 4**

**Kisame: this chapter is full of holes! You didn't reveal who beat them! You never said what information Pein wanted!**

**Drake: Kisame, its 4 in the morning, I am tired, and I am quite possibly half asleep.**

**Kisame: whatever.**

**Drake: smart.**

**Kisame: review please. **

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

**Akatsuki Pro**

**Kisame: and we're back again! Now, after that last hole filled chapter, we're going to try and tie some loose ends.**

**Drake coughs**

**Drake: I'm, going to tie up some loose ends, you don't type this out, I do.**

**Kisame:…oh yeah, oh well, less work for me then.**

**Drake: Indeed, I just received a call from Pein, he says once he's out of the hospital in four chapters that he's going to kill me…that could be bothersome.**

**Kisame grins and nods.**

**Kisame: on with the chapter!**

**Chapter 5: Owned!**

Konan sighed and saw down on her bed, after telling Pein that the others were destroying the house she decided to write some notes on her Halo skills, just for the sake of doing something, well, until a loud crash and then sound of glass shattering interrupted her thoughts.

Standing and listening for more sounds for a few, no other sounds were heard, turning back to her notes.

CRACK!!

That was the audible sound of the chair leg breaking, with great force, then was a small thud, followed by a "HOLY SHIT!!" from Deidara, he sounded scared, and as if he had a swollen lip, With a sigh she stood and went for her door.

She stopped as a Hidan's voice rang out "uncle!!!" and then another loud crack thud, "UGH!! Jashin-sama!!!" he screamed a little too high pitched, making Konan flinch.

"He's gonna kill us!" there was Deidara again, then she could some shuffling and then a very loud thud and then shatter glass.

"Ookay…I'll just wait a few minutes." she mumbled and turned back to her bed, sitting she began to write some stuff down on a piece of paper.

_**Dear sheet of paper.**_

_**Should I die this day, I want everyone who is reading this to know I had no regrets, no past doings that need fixing, and no therapy.**_

_**Konan.**_

She stood and went to her door, but stopped as footsteps were heard on the other side "Hello?." she called, waiting.

"Yes, Konan?!" she heard Pein call back, opening the door she stood slightly frozen, there over his shoulder was Deidara, a black eye and torn lip, a few cuts and a small bruise on his right cheek, on his other shoulder was Hidan, who look nearly the same as Deidara, except his eyes were untouched, actually, most of his face was untouched, as if he let Pein beat the hell outta him without letting him hit his face.

Pein looked a little off, his cloak was slightly ruffled, his hair has strands out place and one of his piercing was gone and he was bleeding,

As answering her mental questions he smiled in a veru un-Pein like manner "small dissagreement, I assure you its nothing…now be a friend and go remove Kakuzu from the wall, and by all means, let Itachi eat the ice cream." he instructed and walked off.

Konan silently nodded and went to the living room, she saw Itachi sitting on the cough, the ice cream in his protective grasp, his Mangekyou fixed on her and said its silent decree touch-and-die, she saw Kakuzu in the wall, KO'd, sighing she supported him and began to drag him slowly back to his room, briefly nodding to Sasori who was still drinking his coffee.

"Mine." Itachi hissed as Sasori stood.

Pein

He was setting Hidan down and turning to leave, closing the door he locked it and walked down the hall, stopping he hissed in pain as he removed the knife from his leg "Damn Hidan…" he muttered putting the bloody knife in his cloak.

"Pein…what happened?." Konan asked closing Kakuzu's door.

Pein frowned "they were beat…"

DUN DUN

"At Halo" he added.

DUN DUN DUNNNNNN

Konan raised a brow "…and that causes this how?" she inclined to the rooms, who housed injured members of the most feared criminal organization "really…"

"The score was 12 to 50." he stated and sighed "they were the 12..." he said calmly.

"and so what? Its not like it's the end of the world."

"oh…its worse, they were beat by Konoha…" Pein stated, his face showing his displeasure.

"Oh…shit" Konan mumbled, knowing this was going to throw the Akatsuki into a deeper hole.

**End of chapter 5.**

**Kisame: hey! I wasn't mentioned in this chapter!**

**Drake: next chapter Kisame, you'll see why you weren't mentioned.**

**Kisame: did Pein kill me?…**

**Drake: No, don't worry, now, please review, as it helps me continue writing.**

**Kisame: not to mention boosts his ego.**

**Drake: did you say something?**

**Kisame: NO!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Akatsuki Pro**

**Deidara: and we're back again! Hmm.**

**Drake: Deidara, everyone knows you don't have to say Hmm, Un or yeah at the end of your sentences, you just do that to annoy everyone…and its working.**

**Deidara looks confused**

**Deidara: I do not un.**

**Drake: yes, you do.**

**Deidara: Do not! Hmm**

**Drake: Yes you do now quiet before I destroy you!**

**Deidara: try me…**

**Drake:…**

**Deidara:…Un**

**Drake lunges**

Chapter 6: Meeting

Pein sat in the living room, Konan at his side, Kakuzu, Hidan to her left, Deidara and Sasori to Pein's right, Itachi down the table without Kisame, who was still nowhere to be found "Alright…" Pein finally spoke, his tone cold as ice, making everyone flinch "After reviewing what Itachi has told me about your failures, I have decided on a solution." he explained.

Kakuzu hesitantly raised a hand "will it cost us anything?," he asked, everyone glancing between him and Pein.

Pein shook his head "nothing more then the usual, we will wage a Halo war on Konoha for this shame, this great shame." he stated, everyone stared for several seconds, Konan had spat out her pepsi when he said that as well.

"What. The. Hell?!?!" she screeched and stood, glaring at Pein "We're S-Class missing nin, feared Akatsuki, most powerful ninja team every assembled and you want us to fight back via game?!?!" she began to pace and rant, all the while Pein watched in mild amusement.

"Konan, with my solution, we're, and I mean this, beating them at their own game." Hidan and Deidara cheered "We will destroy them!" Pein stood and more cheering from the same two people "We will tea-bag them!!" more cheering "And we will never lose again!!!!"

Deidara and Hidan stood and began clapping and cheering, everyone else just stared in complete shock.

* * *

Meanwhile in Konoha

Naruto sat in front of his TV, eyes wide and drool leaving his mouth at the corners, half eaten ramen sitting in a bowl to left, and a half empty glass of water to his, his 360 on and his hands making quick movements "Must…win…without dying…" he mumbled as if in a trance.

Sakura walked in, looking more healthy then her friend who looked like he didn't have a shower for a full week, "Naruto, I'm here…what the?." she spotted her friend sitting there, and then covered her nose "Oh god Naruto, what the hell is this smell?!" but her call went out noticed as Naruto still played.

Sakura began to worry "Naruto?…" she inched closer, her friend not taking notice whatsoever "Naruto!?" she tried harder, then glared and mustered all her anger "NARUTO!!!!!" she yelled next to his ear, he shifted, but continued.

She glared, glancing around she sighed and noticed a vase "sorry Naruto…" she picked it up and glanced at him "but it has to be done." she then proceeded to smash the vase over his head making him fall to the floor in a crumpled mess.

* * *

Back with Akatsuki

Pein stood again, his troops lined up in lines of three "Sasori and Deidara, you two will hit Team Sniper and get fifties in that." Sasori and Deidara nodded, off to their rooms, Pein turned to Kakuzu and Hidan "you two will go into Team slayer, your mission is to get a fifty in it, and make sure you go positive in every match, along with first and second place in kills." the two nodded and ran off.

"Itachi, Konan, you will head into skirmish and practice your objective defending skills, I will await Kisame and he and I will head into MLG and get fifties there, all the while making everyone look like idiots." and the orders were given, the army was raised and the gauntlet thrown.

"I'm back!" and the pizza Kisame was sent to get was also here.

**End of chapter 6.**

**Deidara and Drake currently rolling around trying to strangle the other**

**Kisame walks in**

**Kisame: well…its nice to know Deidara makes a good co-host.**

**Drake: shut it!**

**Drake pulls out vase and smashes it on Deidara's shoulder**

**Deidara glares and headbutts Drake in the face**

**Kisame: well…please leave a review, and uh…yeah, good day or night.**

**Drake: I'LL KILL YOU!!!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Akatsuki Pro**

Kisame: welcome back to the seventh chapter of Akatsuki Pro, you might noticed the last chapter had a lot of mistake concerning spelling and missing words, if you did, it was all Drake and his sleep deprivations fault.

Drake walks in and waves

Drake: Heya Kisame, you're here early…too early.

Kisame: what?

Drake: Kisame…You're Deidara in disguise!

Drake pulls out two double barrel sawed off shotguns

Drake: Double Impact!!!

Kisame is sent flying back into a wall

Drake: Enjoy the chapter folks…now

Drake reloads the shotguns.

**Chapter 7: War**

Konan was having a good morning, she slept well, she had a good breakfast and she was winning a game of Halo, everything was right in the world, with a happy sigh she shot her enemy in the back with a shotgun point blank "ah…what a glorious day to shoot people with a gun" she commented to herself.

Pein walked into her room, wearing his Akatsuki cloak, with a new symbol added, the Halo symbol "Konan, I'm headed out to go get some stuff for fridge, want anything?" he asked evenly.

She shrugged "more frosted flakes, god knows Hidan is going to eat them all morning when he wakes up" she replied, slightly annoyed that Hidan didn't get the whole concept of don't-touch-my-stuff procedures and warnings, worst part was, she couldn't kill him.

Meanwhile, in Hidan's room.

Hidan was sitting in front of his TV, playing Halo 3, he was appearing offline so he could play Action Sack, for awhile without the others noticing, that play list was taboo to them, they could never understand him, and his need to play Run for cover on Zeus, or the little laser sounds he made when he shot down at someone.

Paper has sent you a message.

**Taboo**

He frowned and replied

**I have no idea what you're talking about**

Waiting for a few…then

**You're playing Action Sack, you know its forbidden**

He glared at the message "stupid Konan and her forbidden shit…stupid Pein for making it forbidden…stupid stupid" he grumbled away.

* * *

Meanwhile in Deidara's room.

The blond was still sleeping, dreaming dreams of destruction and annihilation "hmm…rocket launcher…" he mumbled and held his pillow like a rocket launcher, right down to the firing motion "double kill…" he fired again "killtac for the win…" yes, even in his sleep he was owning people.

"Deidara!" Sasori yelled, he had been waiting for Deidara to get up so they could finish getting their fifties in their assigned play list, and he was now just getting impatient "Deida…" he stopped mid name and got an idea, walking out of the room he walked to the kitchen "Where's that hot sauce?" he muttered looking through the various cabinets.

"Sasori!" the redhead sighed and turned to see Kisame and Itachi standing there, giving him an odd look "why are you looking for food?" Kisame asked, raising a brow.

"Its not for me, its for Deidara" Sasori replied calmly.

"you're giving breakfast in bed to Deidara?" Itachi asked, his voice barely above a whisper, he must have been still tired.

Sasori nodded, a small grin on his face "in a sorts, yes" he replied and got the hot sauce, walking back down the hall and into Deidara's room, there was several seconds of quiet.

"Ah!!!!!" a high pitched yell/scream came from Deidara's room, and Itachi and Kisame just stood there, staring.

"Well…you just know Kakuzu is going to kill someone today" Kisame stated, frowning.

Itachi nodded "indeed…lets eat" they went back to their daily routine.

* * *

Deidara's room

The blond sat fuming as he glared at Sasori "the. Hell?" he gritted out.

Sasori gave a lazy smile and shrugged "I got tired of waiting, not get dressed and lets go, we have work to do" he ordered turning.

"But I have to do my hair!" Deidara whined, pouting slightly, Sasori rolled his eyes "please danna?" he used puppy eyes now, and Sasori raised a brow.

"No" and Sasori walked out.

Deidara glared and then got out of bed, grabbing some clean clothes he made his way to the bathroom, when he walked in he glared at the toilet "Alright! Who didn't flush?!" he yelled.

"Meeting!" Pein called, stepping inside the house, several bags with him, soon, everyone sat in the living room, waiting.

"I have contacted the Konoha team responsible for our loss…they have accepted are terms, if we win, they will give us each 3600 MS points…if they win, we give them Itachi" everyone turned to him at that last part.

"what?" he asked.

"give them Itachi?" Konan asked "whatever for?" she added.

"for interrogation and torture I imagine…" Pein replied back, drinking his pepsi "I'm sure Ibiki and especially Anko would like to get their hands on him" he added.

Hidan raised a hand "when's the match?" he asked, he didn't really care for Itachi, just for the fact of kicking some ass.

"Tomorrow, be ready and rested" Pein stood and left.

"Lovely…" Itachi muttered…" just lovely" this was going to be a long, and annoying day.

**End of chapter 7.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Akatsuki Pro**

**Drake Hellion: welcome to chapter 8 of Akatsuki Pro!**

**Pein walks in with a arm sling**

**Pein: I'm back.**

**Drake Hellion: Welcome back Pein, I have to say, your other members are annoying**

**Pein: you think?…and people wonder why I have problems.**

**Drake nods wisely**

**Drake Hellion: now onto the story!**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 8: preparations**

Konan was having a horrible day. She was forced to wake up early and join in on a 'team' meeting to discuss the four members who would represent Akatsuki against Konoha.

Pein sat there on a circular table with a seat for everyone "alright…lets go over the terms again." he cleared his throat "if Akatsuki win, we get 3600 MS points each." everyone nodded "if Konoha wins, they get Itachi." everyone didn't make a sound.

"That deal…for lack of a better word, sucks." Itachi muttered as he sat across from Pein.

"I thinks its completely ripped off…Itachi's only worth 1400 MS points." Deidara stated with a grin.

"Shut it you dumb blond! That's my partner your talking about!" Kisame barked

"Sharks got bark!" Deidara stood sharply "but does he have bite?! hmm"

Kisame growled and stood as well "Enough to chew through you!" he growled.

Deidara smirked and revealed the hands on his mouths chewing something "Bring it fish sticks."

Kisame did a seal and summoned Samehada and pointed it to Deidara "Prepare to be owned!" he shouted.

Pein felt his eye twitch "Kisame…Deidara, as much as I would love to watch you two murder each other, I don't have a camera on me at the moment" he cut in "Now take your seats!" he snapped.

Deidara and Kisame growled but took their seats again

"Good." Pein said "now, I was thinking of choosing Deidara, Hidan, Kisame and Konan for the team." he stated calmly.

Sasori raised a hand "why isn't Itachi on the team?" he asked calmly.

Pein glanced at him "cause he's our bet." he replied.

Itachi sat there in silence _I can't even fight for myself…just perfect_ he sighed "could this day get any worse?" he mumbled lowly.

"Oh yes…Itachi, your brother went to Orochimaru…" Pein suddenly stated "something about power or some lie like that."

Itachi's eye twitched _That dumb piece of shit! _his right eye twitched _pathetic excuse for a human being!_ his left eye twitched now _I told him to get stronger! NOT GO TO A FUCKING BODY STEALING SNAKE IN MANS SKIN!!!!_ "I see…" he said calmly as he struggled the twitching in his eyes.

Kisame cast a worried glance at Itachi, noticing his eyes twitching ever slightly. Deciding the change the topic he quickly asked "so what exactly are the games to be played? And who is representing Konoha?"

Pein nodded "good question." he pulled a sheet of paper from his cloak and placed it on the table. Then slid it to Konan "copy and hand out." he ordered.

Konan nodded and copied the paper and they flew to everyone "The enemy team will consist of Shikamaru Nara…Ino Yamanaka, Naruto Uzumaki and Sakura Haruno." Pein read off the paper "the first round will be Team BRs on Guardian, second will be CTF on Valhalla and finally Grakets on The Pit." he put the paper down and sighed.

"BRs…what a surprise." Sasori drawled sarcastically "And on Guardian! They're really busting out the creativity today those leaf nin." he crossed his arms and sighed.

Pein nodded "Thank you for that useless sarcasm Sasori, I'm sure your dead mother would be proud." he said with a mock nod and then addressed everyone else "Now, Grakets is a basically rockets…except with gravity hammers." he explained.

Hidan immediately grinned and got a wicked gleam in his eyes "Ya don't say."

Pein nodded "I do say." everyone mentally groaned "now, is there any objections to the team?" he asked staring around the table.

No one answered, but then Itachi raised his hand "I hav-"

"Then its settled, Konan, Kisame, Hidan and Deidara will be the team." Pein said quickly "Any questions?"

Itachi again raised his hands "Why did y-"

"Nothing? Good." Pein stood "Meeting complete, now go practice in MLG and Team Snipers." he shooed them off as they all shuffled out the door.

Itachi sighed _Bastard_ he thought and stalked out into the halls of the base "This is just annoying…" he grumbled.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to glare at the person who interrupted him. But stopped when it was Konan and she was smiling a bit "Don't take it too hard Itachi." she said calmly "Even if we do lose, I won't just allow Pein to hand you over to Konoha." she pulled her hand away and opened her arms "Hug." she ordered.

He turned to her "No…" he said flatly.

She scowled "it will make you feel better, now hug."

He shook his head.

"Now." the tone of her voice didn't leave room for arguments.

He sighed and lightly hugged Konan, who returned the hug "We're like a family Itachi." she murmured "a completely weird, irrational and slightly psychotic family, but a family nonetheless." she smiled "so that means I'm gonna watch out for all of you, and that means no giving you away to other villages for torture." she pulled back and smiled "better?"

Itachi nodded "Yes." he answered turning away "I'll be off playing some Halo." he walked over to his room and closed the door.

Konan smiled and turned to Pein's room "now for him." she growled and stormed in.

When he heard someone enter his room Pein glanced up "Konan, what brings you here?" he asked curiously.

Konan closed the door and with a glare she stomped over to Pein "The hell is your problem betting Itachi?…against MS point!" she growled.

Pein stared for a moment "It was an easy choice." he replied evenly and stood "And I realise how it looks." he turned away and sighed.

"An easy choice?…if we lose we have to hand Itachi over!" Konan yelled _Where's that rolling pin?_ she thought idly.

Pein raised a hand "Konan, I would not make such a deal unless I sure we would win." he turned to her "even if we did lose, I am not about to hand over one of my most powerful Akatsuki." he finished with a frown.

Konan just stared "really?"

He nodded "of course." he frowned "and to doubt me is insulting Konan."

"…sorry?…"

* * *

**End of chapter 7.**

**There it is, now next chapter will be the actual game! Now have a nice day and/or night.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Akatsuki Pro**

**Drake: Its here folks, the great Akatsuki VS Konoha Halo Style!**

**Pein: I can't believe I'm not on the team to play!**

**Drake: Don't worry Pein, don't worry.**

**Pein:…**

**Chapter 9: Round one!**

Pein sighed as he stood before his team that consisted of Konan, Hidan, Deidara and Kisame, all of which were standing at attention "I assume you've all been practising?" he asked calmly as he paced around them with a observing eye.

"Yes!" they chorused.

"You all know the plan?" Pein asked.

"Yes!" they chorused again.

"Good, remember, the fate of one of our own hinders on these next few matches, don't disappoint me." Pein smirked and chuckled, then laughed loudly while ominous music played in the background.

"Turn that Halloween theme music off!" Pein barked.

"I still think this deal sucks." Itachi grumbled as he removed his Akatsuki cloak and ring, then tossing them over to the couch "Lets go already." he mumbled lowly.

Pein nodded "get ready, the match will begin shortly." he ordered as he and Itachi sat on the sidelines "Don't worry Itachi, I have every faith in out team."

"I don't" Itachi muttered.

"Too bad." Pein chuckled.

* * *

Konoha

Sakura, Naruto, Ino and Shikamaru were sitting at their respective homes in their rooms playing some custom games before the matches start.

The name of the game? BRs on The Pit.

Ramenator assassinated Cherrybomb!

"Naruto!" Sakura growled.

Shade Shooter sniped Ramenator!

Shade Shooter sniped Cherrybomb

Double kill!

Shade Shooter sniped FlowerGirl!

Triple Kill!

"Shikamaru!" the three growled as the lazy Chuunin took the lead with his amazing sniper skills.

'Troublesome people…if you play like this the Akatsuki will walk all over you guys." Shikamaru drawled as he avoided a plasma grande and threw a grenade, shooting it with his BR as it neared Naruto, when it exploded he quickly followed up with another shot and killed Naruto.

Killing Spree!

"Take this!" Sakura fired a rocket launcher and Shikamaru with his intellect threw a plasma and watched as the rocket came to him, only to be thrown off course as the plasma exploded under it, forcing the rocket off course into a just spawned Naruto.

"Sweet…I got a kill at least." Sakura grinned as she ran around a corner and tried to assassinate Shikamaru as he walked back, only to be met with a shotgun blast to the face "Damnit!"

Current score

Shade Shooter 5.

Cherrybomb 3

Ramenator 3

FlowerGirl 2

"Death from above!" Ino yelled as she jumped from up top of blue tower with dual SMGs and fired as Naruto tried to return fire but was beat down.

"Oh yeah! I rule- BOOM

Shade Shooter sniped FlowerGirl

Sniper Spree!

"Damnit Shikamaru!" Ino screeched.

"Not my fault your too busy celebrating to notice I was standing there for a moment." called Shikamaru through the headset lazily.

Samehada is online

Jashins_Assassin is online

Paper is online

XxArtBlastxX is online

XxArtBlastxX wants to play Halo 3!

Sakura grinned "lets do this."

The others nodded.

Joining game…

* * *

**Lobby.**

**XxArtBlastxX: hello future losers un**

**Cherrybomb: we should be saying that.**

**Samehada: you talk big, but lets see how you handle in the field of carnage.**

**Jashins_Assassin: just start the damn match!**

3...2...1...BEEP!

Akatsuki, Team BRs on Guardian!

"Hidan!" Konan barked "Grab sniper!" she ordered quickly "Kisame, your with me!" she began firing as they saw the other team "Deidara! Grab the over shield when they get close!!"

As Deidara readied himself to grab the over shield he was assassinated

FlowerGirl assassinated XxArtBlastxX!

Lost the lead!

"Damn!" Konan yelled as she hopped up and saw the camo grab the over shield "Oh shit…" she muttered as she was shot point blank with a shotgun.

FlowerGirl beat down Paper!

"Take that bitch!" Ino yelled in victory.

"You slut!" Konan spat as she spawned in and grabbed the nearby brute shot. "I'm gonna kill you!"

Shade Shooter stuck Jashins_Assassin

XxArtBlastxX Stuck Cherrybomb and killed Ramenator!

Double kill!

XxArtBlastxX sniped Shad Shooter!

Cherrybomb assassinated Paper!

FlowerGirl Beat down Samehada!

Jashins_Assassin assassinated FlowerGirl!

Jashins_Assassin Stuck Cherrybomb!

Double kill!

Jashins_Assassin beat down Shade Shooter!

Triple Kill!

Gained the lead!

Jashins_Assassin stuck Ramenator! And killed Cherrybomb!

Killtacular!

It was a vicious match! Both side trading kills and hold offs! Grenades and bullets flew! It was war! Just war pure, bloody war!

And near the end…

"Nobody fucking die!" Hidan barked as they were tied for the lead and the win, both teams were at 49 and being extremely careful not to die "Next one to die is going to get it!" he warned.

"I see them!" Deidara yelled "they're hiding the control room hmm!" he grinned as he picked up the rocket launcher "Lets go clean house." he chuckled.

Hidan laughed maniacally as he reloaded his sniper rifle "This is going to be a blast."

Deidara grinned "Got that right." he agreed.

"Hey…I saw something!" Kisame stated as they turned to the area Kisame was looking, seeing nothing they returned to advancing slowly in a crouch, their most powerful weapons at the ready.

Kisame hefted brought the Shotgun to bear, and with a frown noted he only had 2 shells left "Damnit…" he muttered.

Konan reloaded her Battle Rifle and switched from frags to plasma grenades, she was getting serious for this last kill "Move in slowly, and be prepared for a sword." she warned her team.

"Got it." they chorused.

Pein and Itachi stood and watched, Pein was clenching his hands as he crossed them, clearly feeling the tension, Itachi stared as he tried not to shout out 'You better win!' and instead settled for running a hand through his hair.

"Holy shit!" Itachi and Pein snapped attention as the four Akatsuki moved in, and everything was slow as Konan was met with a sword lunging at her "taaaakkkeee thiiiisss!" even her voice was slow-mo!

She fired her battle rifle, but it wouldn't kill her fast enough, then…

BOOM!!!

Overkill!

Extermination!

Game over!

* * *

Deidara stared at the screen, he had fired his rocket launcher and got all four Konoha team members in the following explosion, killing the lunging sword and exploding two thrown grenades, adding to the blast that wiped out a whole team, leaving Konan only drained of shields.

Konan, Hidan, Kisame and Deidara shot up from their seats and cheered "Art is a blast!" the blond yelled as he did a small victory dance.

Itachi, knowing the blond wasn't looking, cast Deidara a small, tiny, noticeable only under a microscope grateful smile.

"Deidara! You are the best!" Konan lightly hugged Deidara, who was caught off guard and fell over.

"Ugh! Ribs…breaking…lack of air!" he wheezed as everyone but Pein and Itachi laughed.

"Well…that ends round one…" Pein released a breath he didn't even know he was holding.

"Snack time!" Hidan cheered as the teams went to their 15 minute break before the next match.

* * *

**End of chapter 8.**

**Drake: well, that was epic…**

**Pein: I should be playing Damnit!**

**Drake: chill Pein, take a chill pill, don't got a chill pill, take a chill strip, you put in your mouth, it dissolves, chill.**

**Pein: never say that ever again.**

**Drake: sure, now, if you all readers would kindly leave a review, I would greatly appreciate it.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Akatsuki Pro**

**Drake: Round two…this promises to be more explosive**

**Pein: Deidara will like this no doubt**

**Drake: indeed**

**Pein: So…am I going to get to play?**

**Drake: Shh…reading**

**Chapter 10: Round two! Part 1**

Pein and the other Akatsuki sat in the living room, "Good work in the first match everyone." Pein said calmly, nodding to each "I expect no different in the next as well."

"Calm down boss man." Hidan boasted "We're guaranteed to win against those leaf idiots."

"Yeah! Hmm." Deidara grinned "Just gotta grab my rocket launcher and bam, we're in the lead."

Sasori sighed "Don't get overconfident you two, Konoha may be stupid, but they're smart enough to learn from their mistakes." he explained boredly.

"He's right." Konan agreed with a nod "We have to keep our wits about us, Kisame, your with me, Hidan and Deidara, you two are paired, stay together and watch your backs." she ordered them as they turned on their 360s and then waited.

each was set for another round of wins.

But little did they know that Konoha was one step ahead…

* * *

Konoha

Shikamaru sighed and readjusted his headset "Alright, I've analyzed the data from the last match, as such, we'll be traveling in pairs now, Sakura, you and Ino will guard the flag, me and Naruto will go get their flag. understood?"

"Got it." Ino and Sakura chorused.

There was a slurping noise coming from Naruto's mic…

"Stop eating you dumb blond!" Shikamaru yelled in annoyance.

"Hey!" Ino and Naruto yelled back at the same time.

"Enough, look they're online." Sakura barked as she made the game and sent the invites.

* * *

Several moments later…

They were all station in the lobby of the game and exchanging trash talk.

"Don't worry you leaf faggots, we'll take it easy on you this time." Hidan chuckled smugly as he waited.

"We're starting." they all whispered as they focused.

* * *

The Akatsuki spawned in on red side and base, Konan immediately went to work.

"Alright, stick to the plan." she ordered.

"Got it." the three chorused and partnered up as with their initial plan.

"Hidan." Konan called, "You and Deidara go get the flag, me and-" she promptly hit the ground with a dull thud in front of Deidara, who took appropriate action.

Shade Shooter sniped Paper

"SNIPER!!!!" he yelled, causing everyone to flinch.

Kisame reacted by hopping into a hog turret, "Drive blondy! And lets go bleached hair! We're getting that flag!"

Deidara quickly ran over to the hog and got in the driver seat "Lets go Hidan!" he called shortly.

"Laser!" Hidan yelled seeing the tell tale red beam of the targeting laser.

"Oh shit." Deidara and Kisame were reduced to scrap.

"Okay, that was horrible, what are we gonna do now?!" Konan called over the sounds of rifle and laser fire, a round going in front of her face "Holy shit…" she mumbled.

Deidara peeked from his cover and fired a burst with his AR, then retreated back into it when a laser beam targeted him. "Were they always this good hmm?" he hissed.

"That's what she said!" Hidan and Kisame snickered as they respawned.

Paper betrayed Jashins_Assassin

"No time for you perverted jokes idiot!" She hissed when he respawned again as he approached their cover.

"hey…" Kisame peeked up and down "they stopped shooting." he stated, silence, sure enough, no shots.

"I'm scared…" Deidara muttered "what are they up to?" he whispered.

"I don't know…" Konan replied "but we can still win this, Deidara, you and Kisame take a goose and distract the sniper and laser, me and Hidan will go around and find that sniper and, or laser." she explained.

"That might work." the four of them turned and saw a Worthog with three people in it, the passenger was Ino, holding the Laser, in the chain gun was Sakura and in the driver seat was Naruto. "Hello noobs." Naruto grinned.

Hidan was staring.

"Oh shit…" Kisame mumbled. Not cause of the fact the other team was there, but Hidan was called something he should never be called.

"Oh boy…I feel sorry for the other team." Konan muttered.

"haha! You guys are SOOOOOOOO gonna get it now!" Deidara laughed.

"I think no-" Ino was cut off from a bloodthirsty cry.

"YOU SONS OF BITCHES!!!" Hidan roared and dodged the laser as Ino fired at him, then with side steps and jumps he was at the hog and beat Naruto to death in the driver seat.

"I'll kill you all!" Hidan yelled as he tossed a plasma onto the screaming Ino as Konan, Kisame and Deidara all stared.

Jashins_Assassin beat down Ramenator

Jashins_Assassin stuck Folower girl

Jashins_Assassin assassinated Cherrybomb

Triple Kill!

"Oh wow…Hidan's unstoppable!" Deidara cheered as he watched Hidan tea bag all three bodies.

"Bitches." Hidan growled as he walked over to them "Lets go that damn flag!" they all nodded and grabbed the various weapons left behind by the now dead enemies.

"Where's the sniper?" Deidara asked suddenly.

Shade Shooter sniped Jashins_Assassin

"…Oh…"

* * *

**End of chapter 10.**

**Drake: This is based on a real CTF match I had.**

**Pein: Oh?**

**Drake: Yeah, it was epic.**

**Pein: I suppose.**

**Drake: Indeed, till next time.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Akatsuki Pro**

**Drake: So starts part 2 of round 2!**

**Pein: Why did this take two chapters sa far to play out?**

**Drake: Cause my original match lasted an hour.**

**Pein: Really?**

**Drake: Amazing, I know.**

**Chapter 10: Round two! Part 2**

* * *

Pein was standing off to the side, arms crossed and an air of anger, no, more ;I'm gonna murder you if you don't win' kind of anger, needless to say, the playing Akatsuki quickly took their game to the next level.

"Deidara! Shoot that damn banshee down before it roasts Hidan!" Konan yelled inter mic. "And Kisame! Get the goose ready, I'm going to signal Hidan to get the flag, hit the man cannon-" She growled "And Kisame! If you snicker I will fucking kill you!" Konan was not in a good mood.

"Okay." Kisame yelped through the mic, everyone could picture his frightened child expression though their TV set though.

"Hidan! Go!" Little did Konan know that their plan was compromised

* * *

**Konoha**

Ino turned her mic off and giggled madly, she was inside the Akatsuki, listening to their chatter, she heard everything about their plan, then, opening a private channel to Shikamaru she said "Get off the banshee, Hidan at base and signal to go." the words were few, but Shikamaru understood.

"Understood, Naruto, center field, snipe the bastard." Shikamaru barked.

"Wha-" Naruto didn't finish as a loud voice said.

Flag Taken!

Naruto grinned and trained his sniper on the center field and watched as Hidan, flag in hand, landed in the open, "Hehe, candy from a baby." he grinned.

Ramenator Sniped Jashins_Assassin!

Flag dropped!

"Good work Naruto, Sakura, where are you?" Shikamaru asked, watching as his banshee was blown to hell by a Spartan laser blast.

"By the water fall, I have their flag in sight." replied the pink haired nin.

"Good, see to it that you wait for Ino to kill Paper, not sooner or later." there was the unmistakable sound of a grenade going off on Shikamaru's end. "Oh shit…Screw it Sakura, Laser and Wraith are bombing my position! move now! Ino! Do it!"

Sakura broke towards the base, intending to get that flag while Ino dealt with Paper.

"Hey! Bitch!" Sakura stopped and glared at the figure several feet away from her, then her eyes widened in surprised when the laser was glowing. "I'mma firin ma Lazer!" Hidan yelled as the Spartan laser fired.

Jashins_Assassin Lasered Cherrybomb!

"Bitch!" Hidan hollered.

"What the fuck?!" Konan yelled through the mic, then silence.

FlowerGirl assassinated Paper.

Flag taken!

"Oh, bitch number two comes out to play," Hidan aimed towards the man cannon as Ino flew through the air. "I'mma firin ma lazer!" he yelled again. "Again!"

Jashins_Assassin lasered FlowerGirl!

Flag dropped!

Hidan frowned when he noticed his laser was out of ammo, "Damnit…I like this thing too." he walked towards the flag, "may as well return-" a worthog then drove by and ran him over.

FlowerGirl splattered Jashins_Assassin!

Sakura jumped out of the passenger seat and picked up the flag. "Driver!" she called.

"Driving!" Ino replied as she hopped into Worthog hoping top save Sakura and get the flag, narrowly dodging the wraith shot as she zipped past it..

Boom!

Paper sniped Cherrybomb!

Flag dropped!

Konan reloaded her newly spawned sniper rifle and laughed, "payback is a bitch." she said coldly as she glanced around, spotting something in the distance. "No-"

Ramenator sniped Paper!

"Irony is a bitch." Naruto chuckled.

"Naruto! I don't care about your little vendettas! I need help! There is a wraith outside the base! Take care of it!" Shikamaru called.

Naruto nodded to his screen and snapped off a salute, then made his back to the base, the wraith shots echoing throughout the chasm of Valhalla.

Naruto stopped short of some boulders and saw the wraith tank showering his teams base without mercy, "Okay, alls I gotta do is sneak over there, board it and then toss a frag, then bam!" he grinned like the fox inside him, crouched and then proceeded to move towards the wraith.

* * *

**Meanwhile, in the Akatsuki home base.**

Deidara was grinning as he continued to bomb the base with his all powerful wraith tank, glee built up within him as every shot collided with the base, "Art is a bang!" he yelled victoriously when FlowerGirl spawned in to be killed again.

"Deidara-sempai!!!!!!"

Deidara froze in pure horror, his hair on the back of his neck stood straight on end. His palms began to sweat, his jaw went slack, his eye/s widened and he felt his heart rate quicken. "Oh No." he mumbled, then everything went dark.

"Tobi! The fuck?! You Knocked out Deidara!"

* * *

**End of chapter 10.**

**Tobi enters the scene! Now if you would be so kind as to review, that would appreciated, now have a nice day and night.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Akatsuki Pro**

**Drake: The final part of this round, rejoice!**

**Pein: I happened to notice several errors in your last chapter, specifically where Ino rammed Hidan, when only Sakura was there.**

**Drake: …Uh…lag?**

**Pein: Really?**

**Drake: Of course, I've seen people 'flash step' from one end of the map to the other, lag, yep, all lag.**

**Chapter 11: Round two! Part 3**

Tobi, Hidan and Konan stared in horror at the unconscious Deidara, who had suffered an concussion due to Tobi's monstrous hug. "Tobi…what the fuck have we told you?"

Tobi shifted on his feet nervously, "Don't hug Deidara-sempai." he replied lowly.

Konan growled and made a move to strangle the masked man, but remember their game. "Shit! We need another player!" she yelled in frustration.

Tobi snapped off a crisp salute "Tobi will help you!" he stated.

Konan gave a stare, "I'm not sure…"

Flag taken!

Konan sighed, "Fine! Take Deidara's controller!"

Tobi nodded and took it, "How do I play?" he asked innocently.

"Fuck." Konan and Hidan chorused.

* * *

**Meanwhile.**

Kisame growled as Ino and Sakura circled the base with the warthog, pinning the Akatsuki within the base. "What the hell are you guys doing?!" he yelled into the mic when three of his teammates were standing still.

Konan began to move, "What happened?" she asked.

"We're pinned, but they haven't grabbed the flag yet." Kisame replied angrily, "those two annoying whores are circling the base in a hog."

Konan sighed grimly, Hidan moved, "I'm back, and we're stuck aren't we?"

Kisame and Konan nodded.

"Tobi is here to help!" Deidara/Tobi exclaimed.

"The hell?" Kisame asked in disbelief, "You guys let Tobi play?!"

"Don't worry!" Tobi yelled, "Tobi is a good boy! Tobi will not let you down!" they could see the salute in his words.

"We're dead…" Hidan muttered.

"**We're not dead until the match is over**." Tobi's voice became deeper, more serious. "**Now shape up you maggots, cause we have a game to win**." malicious laughter rang through the mic.

"Oh-Kay…" Kisame and Konan said uncertainly, and a little or so weirded out but Tobi's voice change.

Tobi stepped up onto the base, then moved left slightly, as he did a sniper round whizzed by his head, "**You must be much faster than that you pathetic fool!**" he taunted to the unseen sniper as he jump into the grav lift.

"That idiot! He's going to get sniped!" Konan yelled.

Another sniper shot rang out, but as soon as it did, Tobi crouched mid jump, his head sinking lower and avoided the round.

Konan, Kisame and Hidan stared with disbelief

"Did he?,,," Konan trailed off.

Kisame nodded, "Yeah…he did."

Hidan laughed "We can still win this!" he cheered and grabbed a BR, then followed Tobi into the grav lift as the warthog went behind the base.

Kisame grinned and activated a power drain, stopping the warthog in it's tracks, "It's not nice to shoot at people while they're having a conversation…" he grinned as he approached the stopped hog with his Missile Pod. "Adios!"

"Oh shit!" Ino and Sakura yelled as they attempted to abandon the hog.

BOOM BOOM BOOM

Samehada killed FlowerGirl

Samehada killed Cherrybomb

Double Kill!

Kisame grinned, feeling quite pleased with himself.

Tobi landed in the middle of the map and jumped to avoid a sniper round, "**Haha! All your flags are belong to us now! Haha!**" he yelled as he pulled his pistol and took aim, firing he struck Naruto and forced him into cover. "**Coward! Face me!**" Tobi called evilly.

Hidan landed shortly after and glanced around, seeing Tobi pinning the sniper behind a rock, he took careful aim and tossed a grenade.

It descended till finally…

BOOM!

Jashins_Assassin killed Ramenator!

Killjoy!

Hidan chuckled.

"**Hidan, come on…**" Tobi let out a malicious laugh "**We're getting that flag!**"

Hidan grinned.

* * *

**With Konoha!**

"Is it just me…or did XxArtBlastxX suddenly develop Mary sue abilities?" Ino asked.

"You mean dodging my shots like he watches too much Matrix? Or the fact he can shoot me with a pistol halfway across the map?" Naruto replied sarcastically.

Sakura growled, "They have to be cheating, no way there player was that good all this time…he's playing like he's a god or something!" she yelled in frustration.

Shikamaru released a long, annoyed sigh. "This is just troublesome…the guys good, too good." he said "He dodges sniper shots easily, even mid air." another sigh, "And that is something altogether…"

"You think they hacked?" Naruto asked curiously.

"No, not in the short time while they were inside the base, plus we didn't black screen." he replied lowly, "They must have switched out the player, that's the only explanation." he reasoned.

"Those cheating! No good! Piece of-" Naruto was interrupted as a loud voice yelled.

Flag taken!

Immidiatly, the four ended their meeting and stormed outside their base to see Hidan holding the flag and mid air via the grav lift.

"Get him!" Shikamaru ordered quickly, "If they score and with only a minute left! It'll be a miracle to get a point!" he explained hastily.

Naruto leveled his newly spawned sniper rifle from mid air as he followed Hidan, soon Ino and Sakura followed him too.

BOOM!

XxArtBlastxX sniped Ramenator!

BOOM

XxArtBlastxX sniped FlowerGirl

BOOM

XxArtBlastxX sniped Cherrybomb!

Triple kill!

"No!!!!!!!" Ino, Naruto and Sakura yelled in despair.

"Troublesome…" Shikamaru muttered.

* * *

Hidan was at the middle hill now, he was halfway to the base. "I need a driver!" he called into the mic.

Shikamaru quickly got into the Banshee and flew towards the middle of the map to intercept Hidan. Seeing the flag carrier, Shikamaru started firing wildly with the plasma cannons, closing in as well.

Hidan took some hits and then began zigzagging to try and survive to get the flag to the base for the win. "I can make it!" he yelled as he ran, while praying to Jashin that Halo had a sprint button right now.

"Come on!" Hidan and Shikamaru yelled.

Hidan lost his shield.

Shikamaru grinned.

"I have you now." Shikamaru stated as he fired some more shots.

"He's right on me! Come on!" Hidan growled to himself as he tried to make it to the base. "Where the fuck is my cover!?!?!"

Kisame stepped up from the base and grinned, holding his missile pod proudly. "Right here." he said as he unloaded the missiles.

Shikamaru cursed and evaded the missiles, but the circled around and came again. He grunted when one impacted, taking down his shield. Doing a roll he evaded the others, but it was too late.

Flag captured!

Lost the lead!

Shikamaru sighed and allowed the missiles to hit him, ending with a fiery explosion.

* * *

**With the Akatsuki!**

Pein chuckled and whipped out a bottle of champagne and opened it with a pop, "To our victory!" he cheered, suddenly the house erupted into cheers from the various members.

Itachi stood to the side, then sighed in relief and walked over to his room to sleep, he would get a headache tomorrow because of the bitching from the hangovers his comrades would get when they got to the Beer.

* * *

**Konoha**

"We swear revenge!" the four Konoha players yelled in unison. DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN!!!

* * *

**End of chapter 11.**

**There it is, Tobi is awesome, No? have a nice night and good night! *goes off to sleep***


	13. Chapter 13

**Akatsuki Pro**

**Drake: update, it's pretty short, and not much humor, and a little serious. But oh well.**

**Pein: I actually seem badass in this one, bout time.**

**Drake: yeah, yeah.**

* * *

**Chapter 12: Morning pranks**

Itachi had been correct in his assumptions that everyone got completely hammered, even Pein and Konan, who were the most responsible of the Akatsuki, were now in their rooms in a drunken sleep.

"Ow…" A voice moaned as it approached from the hallway.

Itachi knew who it was, aside from Tobi and himself, there was other Akatsuki who had not participated in the after math drinking.

"Uchiha…" Deidara greeted wearing a loose white T-shirt and his baggy nin pants, rubbing his head and yawning "Man…I have a headache un…" he muttered as he sat down on the table opposite of the weasel. "Wha happen?"

"Tobi arrived and proceeded to do what many fan girls would love to," Itachi replied easily, drinking some coffee, "Which caused you to fall unconscious and then Tobi played in your stead, he defeated the Konoha team, resulting in my staying." he replied.

Deidara frowned, "Oh…that explains the headache…" he sighed and gestured to the coffee, "Can ya pour me some?"

Itachi nodded, got up and poured the blond bomber some coffee, taking it back he slid over to Deidara, "Careful it's-"

"Ow!" Deidara yelped as he took a chug of the steaming hot coffee "Damn that stings!" he hissed as he began fan his open mouth.

"I tried to warn you." Itachi said boredly.

Deidara glared, then sighed, realising the Uchiha was only trying to be truthful. "Why are you being so nice to me? Normally your sentences are full of mocking sarcasm un." Deidara asked.

Itachi took another quiet sip of his coffee, "It is thanks to you that I am still here with the Akatsuki," he replied, "And after Tobi's monster hug, I would think you would appreciate my kindness." he added.

Deidara shrugged, "I'm not complaining, I mean, I'm just soooo likeable everyone should treat me nicely!" He grinned widely, realising it was a good change to talk with Itachi without the hidden insults.

"Oh?" Itachi arched a brow "If I had known my being nice would give you an ego boost, I would not have been so nice." Itachi joked with a smirk.

Deidara frowned, then caught the joking manner, laughing he waved it off "Whatever Uchiha, whatever, where is everyone else? And I now just noticed the place reeks of alcohol!"

Itachi nodded, "They are…for lack of a better word, hammered."

Deidara grinned, "Nice."

"Indeed." Itachi agreed, finishing his coffee and giving the blond a pointed point "are you thinking what I am thinking?" he asked dully.

Deidara could only nod with a grin as a devious glint entered his visible blue eye. Itachi chuckled and they both nodded.

* * *

**Several hours later.**

Pein groaned as he opened his eyes, thankfully his curtains were closed and the door was closed, there was no sound other than slight throbbing of his head, which he was grateful for, as it would be painful if something made a large amount of noise while he was drunk.

"ah…" with a small sigh he decided to go back to sleep, hopefully when he woke up again his hangover would be gone.

Then…like a storm of thunder, his stereo turned on and the curtains flew open.

**DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE! DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE!**

The song blasted his ears like a shotgun to the face and he clutched his head in pain, rolling over he was met with the blinding light of the sun in his eyes, with a hissed he fell off the bed, resulting in a pained 'oof' when he hit the floor.

This happened in the other rooms as well, every who was drunk and still sleeping was woken up by the same loud song and blinding light, most resulted in the same ending of falling off the bed and lying there, wondering who was attacking them.

Back in the kitchen.

"Deidara," Itachi shook his head with amusement lacing his voice "You are sometimes more genius than even I."

Deidara grinned as he held the remote switch that activated all the curtains and stereos in the rooms, having snatched it from Pein's room while the leader was drunk. "Yes, yes I am." he laughed.

"You should also realise that Pein is going to kill us when he finds out, right?" Itachi added.

Deidara shrugged, "it was worth it, so worth it."

"**Deidara!!!**" both mentally gulped and turned to see a fuming Pein standing there. "**Explain! Before I shinra tensei you straight into the sun!**" Pein, who had gotten over his hangover in favor of evil rage leader mode, snarled.

"Uh…" Deidara began. He was in trouble.

"It was me," Both Pein and Deidara stared at Itachi in surprise, thought one had a look of graetfulness and the other blind rage.

"You…Itachi? Did this?" Pein asked, fists clenched.

Itachi nodded, casting a glare towards Deidara "And I would have gotten the master control back to your room, had the dumb blond not taken it from me."

Pein and Deidara were silent, "I see." Pein spoke finally, with barely controlled rage. "I guess there is no choice then, I thought better of you Itachi, but it seems even you can disappoint." Pein cracked his knuckles.

Itachi stared unblinkingly. "Perhaps." he murmured before Pein's fist collided with his face, then as he staggered back Pein grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him back, follwing with a knee to the stomach, forcing Itachi to cough and hack as the air left his lungs, with a growl Pein brought an elbow down on Itachi's back.

"Guh!" Itachi spat out some blood as he dropped limply to the floor, his fists and teeth clenched.

Pein stared down at him passively, "Done, consider that a warning for any future pranks." Pein stomped back to his room, leaving the unconscious Itachi and stunned Deidara behind.

* * *

**End of chapter 12.**

**Drake: there Pein, I made you more serious, happy now?**

**Pein: very much so.**

**Drake: good, good.**

**Pein: Now review! For it is nice!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Akatsuki Pro**

**Drake: Well, I guess Itachi didn't like the last chapter**

**Pein: He didn't, in fact I believe he asked if he could trap you in the Tsukiyomi**

**Drake: Ah, well, tough crackers, I'm the author and what I typo goes.**

**Pein: Indeed.**

**Chapter 14: Midday celebrations**

Itachi awoke four hours after his punishment, feeling alright, in fact, he felt quite good. "I'm sorry!" he heard the leader yell, "Look! I was drunk-Ow!" the sound of a loud thud was heard. "Konan! I overreacted! But he's fine now! You healed him! OW!"

Itachi was faintly amused that Konan was punishing Pein for his punishment, sitting up he saw he was in his room, he yawned and stretched, opting to stay in bed for the rest of the day and listen to leaders yells of pain.

* * *

**Meanwhile!**

Pein was feebly shielding his head with his arms as Konan held a rolling pin over her head, "Are you crazy? What if you killed him?!" she hit Pein again.

"How many sorrys," _And Bruises_ "Am I going to have to say before you stop!?" he yelled.

Hidan, Kisame and Kakuzu were just off to the side, sitting on the couch and watching as their blue haired only female member beat the ever loving shit of their 'fearless, powerful and undisputed' leader.

"Till I feel you've said it enough!" Konan replied.

"Uh…Tobi thinks Konan-sempai should stop hitting leader-sama…" Tobi shifted, his shoulders tense, "**Before I devour your soul!**" everyone stopped and gave Tobi a strange look, "I mean, before Leader-sama gets brain damage." he stammered.

"Let him, he could use a good beating in the head," Hidan grinned from his spot on the couch, "Jashin knows he needs it."

"**Jashin can kiss the darkest part of my ass!**" Tobi mocked darkly.

"What did you say you little shit?!" Hidan snarled towards the masked member.

"Tobi said Jashin can…do everything?"

"That's what I thought!" Hidan huffed and turned back to watching Pein being beat.

Deidara, who was still sleepy, was face flat on the table and sleeping away, Kakuzu was of course counting his real money, they all decided today was going to be relatively relaxing.

That is until there was a knock on the door. "Tobi will get it!" Tobi bounced over to the door and opened, "Yes?!"

"Hn, Let me in," with that, Sasuke Uchiha pushed passed Tobi and entered the Akatsuki abode, "Orochimaru is acting weird, figure I would stay with my only living relative." he explained idly, when Hidan opened his mouth to protest he silenced him with a Uchiha glare. Making Hidan freeze.

"And do you," Pein straightened himself out, Konan was putting the rolling pin back and had stopped beating Pein, "Think we will really just allow you to stay here?"

Sasuke nodded, "Yeah, I know you will, cause I have something you want," he pulled the Akatsuki ring from his pocket, "You get this if you allow me to stay here for a few, oh and if Karin calls, tell her I'm not here…in fact, I'm not in the country." with that, he stalked off further into the base.

"Great…one Uchiha brat is enough, the last thing we need is two." Hidan muttered.

"**The Uchiha own Jashin bitch!**" Tobi roared

"The hell did you say?!"

"Tobi said nothing Hidan-sempai, are you sure you're not hearing things?"

Hidan glared, then stalked off back to his room, muttering something about heathens and sacrifices.

"Well…are we going to allow that little Itachi to stay here?" Kakuzu asked.

"He gave us back our ring, I think we should give him the benefit of the doubt that he won't kill us in our sleep." Pein replied, then added "But if he tries, I'm gonna have Tobi posted nearby, just in case."

"**I will help him burn the bodies! Muahahahahaha**" everyone gave Tobi more strange looks, "Uh…why is everyone staring at me like that?" he asked innocently.

Konan shook her head, then smiled at the masked man, "Tobi, wanna help me make cookies?" she asked kindly.

Tobi bounced up and down, "Yes Konan-sempai! Tobi wants to help!" with that, the two went into the kitchen to make cookies, leaving Kakuzu and Pein alone.

"So…does Konan always have such power over you?"

"I don't hit girls."

"And you call yourself a ninja."

"I'm a ninja with standards!"

"Weak standards apparently."

"I have no qualms about hitting you."

"…" Kakuzu nodded, "I'll shut up now."

* * *

**End of chapter 14**

**Drake: Haha, this reminds me of that thing that happened to three years ago.**

**Pein: That was?**

**Drake: Well, I was reading this story about a masked man who has split personalities…I can't help but feel my Tobi stemmed from there.**

**Pein: I don't care, now review you nice readers! So Akatsuki may continue to show you all how Halo is really played!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Akatsuki Pro**

**Pein: You accursed authors and your abilities of authorness!**

**Drake: Yeah yeah, quit bitching, so You got beat by Konan, tell me, would you really defend yourself from her?**

**Pein: That's not the point!**

**Drake: Point made, now shut up and allow the readers to enjoy this chapter!.**

**Pein: Itachi!.**

**Itachi: Tsukiyomi.**

**Drake: Oh fu-dur….**

**Chapter 15: Of Tobi**

Pein, Konan, Kakuzu and Hidan were enjoying a good game of Halo, in fact, it was so good, they didn't even care to answer the phone that was ringing off the hook.

"I'll get it…" Deidara had finally had enough of the phone ringing, whoever was calling had the patience to wait an hour. "Hello." he drawled into the phone.

His eyes widened, "Uh, hold on un." he put his hand over the receiver and mouth 'It's Orochimaru' to Pein.

Pein narrowed his eyes, shooting his palm towards the phone, "Banshou tenin." with that Phone was pulled towards him, landing neatly in his palm, "Hello?…No, Sasuke is not here…Yes I'm sure it's not cause of you he left…No, I'm sure I have no idea where he went…Positive?…Oh, that's interesting, really?…Well that's good, very good, goodbye, yeah you too." he hung up and sighed, "Crises averted, but how did he get our number?"

"Oh!" Tobi raised a hand, "Tobi thought that since not many people called, there was a problem, So I entered our number in the phonebook!" he exclaimed. "**Plus it was just to piss you off**."

Pein narrowed his eyes, "You what?!" he snapped.

"Tobi is sorry!" with that Tobi took off faster than any ninja could hope to match.

"I'm gonna strangle that fool when he returns…" Pein growled.

Game over!

Pein returned to the screen, it read.."WE LOST?!?!!?" yes, in his conversation with Orochimaru, they had lost. "TOBI!!!!!"

Hidan sighed and face palmed, "Fucking great…I was a kill away from perfection too…" he muttered.

"Damnit Pein!" Konan snapped.

With Itachi.

Itachi, who had decided it was high time to get out of bed, decidedly wished he hadn't, there, down the hall, was his little brother, Sasuke Uchiha.

"Take a picture…" Sasuke said, turning to him "It will last longer."

Itachi narrowed his eyes, "What are you doing here?" he asked smoothly.

Sasuke chuckled, his voice equally smooth, "I was in the area, decided I'd visit my beloved brother…that isn't a problem…" he smirked, "Is it?"

Itachi fought the urge to gulp, in Uchihanary, those words were hurtful. _**Beloved-a Hateful, not worthy of hell, loathing, and every bad insult falls under this when an Uchiha uses it. **_"Oh?" Itachi responded, "And there I was thinking my very loved little brother didn't care about me." he said, smirk present as well.

Sasuke inwardly flinched, _He's master the Uchiha Speech well_ he noted, "Of course I do, how else would I be towards my loving older brother?" he asked a little too innocently.

Itachi felt sweat forming on his brows as he let the words sink in, _Orochimaru has taught him much of the Dark side._ he thought, "Indeed, well, my Beloved otouto, I must be off, See you around?" he asked boredly.

Sasuke nodded, face going blank, "Always." with that, the passed the other and their Uchiha duel was over, in a draw. _I must become stronger…Orochimaru you were weak to defeat Itachi, I will defeat him myself_ Sasuke thought angrily.

Itachi sighed, that was an intense duel, thankfully Sasuke did not have access to the Uchihanary like Itachi did, _And he never will, Cause I made sure to burn every copy of the Uchihanary when I killed the clan, now no one can defeat me!_

He then entered the living room, seeing Konan, Pein, Hidan, Kakuzu and Deidara staring at the TV. "Who is winning?" Itachi asked.

"We are." Pein replied dully, a sniper rifle shot rang out.

OVERKILL!

GAME OVER!

"Woot!" Hidan yelled in victory.

Konan sighed in relaxation as she stretched, "That was good," she stated contently.

Kakuzu nodded in agreement, "Easy, like taking money from a baby."

Pein frowned, "Too easy, we need more challenge, otherwise our skills will get sloppy." he stated.

The other nodded in agreement, then, the phone ran again.

"I'll handle this…" Itachi stated, walking over to the phone. "Hello…who is this?…Ah, yes, My younger brother is here…no he didn't say why he left…yes, I'm sure it wasn't cause of you…very well, good luck trying to find us though…what do you mean our base is on google maps?…seriously? Really?…My God…Yes, nice day to you too." he hung up, "Some girl named…Karin called." he said.

Pein felt his eyes twitch, "What was that about Google maps?"

"Our base is on it…" Itachi replied.

"Who. The. Fuck. Put out base on Google Maps?" he gritted out.

"Probably the same idiot who put our number in the phonebook." Hidan supplied.

"TOBI!!!!!!!!"

**End of chapter 15.**

**Drake: dur…**

**Pein: hahe, serves you right.**

**Itachi: My revenge is complete. *poofs away***

**Pein: Sorry there wasn't much Halo, Drake is ever so lazy nowadays, but don't worry, I'll make sure he puts Halo in the next chapter…muaha…hahahahaha!!**


	16. Chapter 16

Akatsuki Pro

**Pain: Haha, Drake is indisposed at the moment, so I will take over as temporary author, don't worry…I will give the Akatsuki it's due.**

**Itachi: Why am I here?**

**Pain: Cause, You're the closest thing to defense should Drake get free of the Tsukiyomi.**

**Itachi: So I'm a shield?**

**Pain: pretty much.**

**Chapter 16: The three Uchiha and Pain.**

"No! we don't want to buy a fucking a vacuum cleaner!" Hidan slammed the phone down, "I fucking swear! One more telemarketer calls and I'll destroy an orphanage!" he snarled, that was the sixth one this morning.

"Konan, please inform Tobi when he returns that I would like to see him in my office alone." Pain said, stalking into his office and shutting the door.

Konan nodded, "Of course, Pain all mighty." she bowed her head.

"Leader must be getting ready to kill someone if he's that angry." Deidara noted, staring at the TV screen.

"Morning fools." Sasuke walked into the kitchen, opened the fridge and pulled out a milk carton, grabbing a glass he poured some milk into the glass, then chugged the carton and put the glass in the fridge.

Deidara twitched, "The hell! How am I supposed to enjoy my frosted flakes now!" he yelled, staring at the Uchiha with a single narrowed blue eye.

Sasuke shrugged, "There's still milk…" as soon as he said that, Itachi walked into the kitchen, ignoring them he opened the fridge and drank the glass of milk, putting the glass in the sink he said.

"Good morning, foolish little brother."

Sasuke glared, "Morning, aniki…" he gritted out.

"The hell!?" Konan screeched when she saw the empty milk carton in Sasuke's hand, "You drank it all?!" Sasuke flinched from her voice.

"Oh yes…" Itachi said, remembering something. "Otouto, a girl named Karin called for you yesterday." he stated, noting the look of horror that had appeared on Sasuke's face.

"You…told her I wasn't here…right?" he squeaked.

Itachi briefly wondered what woman could scare an Uchiha like his Brother, "I told her you were here." he stated boredly.

"You evil, conniving, loathsome bastard!" Sasuke snarled, looking torn between anger and panic.

"I've been called worse." Itachi shrugged.

"Enough! Itachi, since your brother is staying here, he will he induced into our clan, give him the initiation." Pain commanded from the doorway, all the Akatsuki stood and walked into Pain's office.

Sasuke walked in, Itachi behind him, and saw only nine candles sitting around in a circle as the only light source. _Creepy…._ Sasuke thought.

"Uchiha Sasuke, formerly of Konoha, formerly of Sound…you stand before Akatsuki, an organization bent on controlling the online Halo world through skill, power and mastery of the BR." Pain spoke, his grey ringed eyes glowing in the small lights. "Do you my name?"

Sasuke was seriously weirded out, "Uh…Pain?" Pain nodded.

"Mine, un?"

Sasuke glanced to the blond who reminded him too much of Ino, "Deidara." said blond nodded.

"M**e**?" Zetsu asked.

"Zetsu." Sasuke replied to the plantman.

"M-"

"Hidan."

"Don't fucking interrupt me!" Hidan snarled.

"Hidan, shut the hell up and let the boy continue." Pain commanded. Hidan muttered something, but shut up.

"My name?" Konan asked, though glaring at Sasuke.

"Konan." _the bitch of paper_ Sasuke almost grinned, almost.

"Me now." Sasori.

"Sasori Akasuna." Sasuke replied.

"My turn." Kisame grinned.

"Kisame Hoshigaki." Sasuke stated.

Itachi smirked, "My name."

"Uchiha Itachi." Sasuke growled.

"Mine." Kakuzu said.

"Kakuzu." Sasuke said.

"Good…" Pain said, stepping forward, "Uchiha Sasuke…you are here to be initiated into Akatsuki, as a member of our prestigious group…do you accept?" he asked calmly.

Sasuke nodded, "I guess." he muttered.

Pain nodded to Itachi, "good, your chakra will be sealed for the initiation," with that, Itachi placed a paper seal on Sasuke's back, "Are you sure?" Pain asked.

Sasuke nodded.

Pain snapped his fingers.

Hidan grinned, suddenly punching Sasuke in the cheek, sending the Uchiha to floor, then, they all began to kick and punch him while he was down.

This lasted for ten seconds, till finally, Sasuke stopped feeling the pain and was slowly losing consciousness. Briefly seeing Konan over him with her hands over his head.

* * *

**With Itachi afterwards!**

Itachi sighed, he, Konan, Kisame and Kakuzu were playing Team Slayer on The Pit, "Think the initiation is a bit too violent?" Kakuzu asked.

"I'll have to talk to Pain about it." Konan admitted.

"I thought it was fun." Kisame grinned, "And he's alright, you healed him." he stated.

Konan shrugged, "I did, but that doesn't mean I enjoyed beating on a fifteen year old."

"I DON'T WANNA FUCKING BUY A NEW RUG! I'M A S-CLASS MISSING NINJA WHO KILLS PEOPLE FOR FUCKING FUN! WHAT USE COULD I POSSIBLY HAVE FOR A RUG?!?!?!" Hidan roared, slamming the phone down, "I'm gonna murder Tobi." he stated.

Konan shrugged, engrossing herself in her game

* * *

**Game time!**

Konan spawned on blue side, walking into the side corrider she picked up the shotgun, "I got shotty." she stated.

"I got sniper." Kakuzu stated.

"Sword." Itachi said.

"Rock-" BOOM "Nevermind, they got rocket…" Kisame said, "Fucking grenade whores…" he muttered under his breath.

Kakuzu wasted no time in taking the initative, they were down one kill, and he needed to change that. Aiming as he saw a camo guy leave the hallway, (they're ninjas, I'm pretty sure if I can spot a camo on Valhalla with a BR scope, they can do with a sniper scope.) he fired.

Stitches sniped Mr. Smith!

"Nice shot…oh shit, rocket coming down left hall!" Konan reported.

Kakuzu adjusted and fired, "Got him." he stated.

Stitches sniped HourOfDeath

Gained the lead!

Kisame grinned as he opened fired with his BR, catching an unsuspecting enemy by surprised, three shots to the body, then one to the head, "Four shotted!" he cheered as he spun around with a red dot on radar, with a quick tap of the b button he punched a enemy in the face, following through with a BR, he killed.

Double Kill!

Kisame spun around, knowing their spawn location he tossed it to red snipe tower, the plasma grenade bounced off the wall. Desended…

Overkill!

Samehada stuck Moogles!

Samehada killed MoonlessWolf

Kisame grinned, chuckling. "Bitches." he taunted.

He turned and was met with a shotgun to face, "Bitch." the other player said.

Shank!

Kisame sighed in relief when Itachi cut down the enemy player with the sword, "You owe me." Itachi said, running around the corner.

Five minutes later.

Score: Akatsuki-46

Enemy-2

Stitches sniped Moogles!

Stitches sniped MoonlessWolf!

Stitches sniped HourOfDeath!

Stitches sniped Mr. Smith!

OVERKILL!

EXTERMINATION!

PERFECTION!

GAME OVER!

* * *

**Lobby**

Mr. Smith: well played, You are all skilled.

MoonlessWolf: fucking hackers! All of you!

Stitches: it was a pleasure destroying you all.

Left lobby!

Konan sighed as she stretched and stood. "Another match well done boys!" she grinned.

Kakuzu nodded, standing and cracking his neck, "I'm too good for my own good." he boasted, equally glad with their victory.

"I'mma go sleep now," Kisame stated, leaving the living room.

* * *

**Four hours later…**

It was night in the Akatsuki base, and Sasuke was beginning to regain consciousness. He was faintly aware of the weight on his stomach, he rolled slightly, causing a small feminine giggle to enter his ears.

"Sasuke-kun…." the voice purred in his ear, Sasuke was now fully awake, he turned his head.

It was…

It was……

"KARIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sasuke screamed. Yes screamed, not yelled, not exclaimed, not screeched, not said loudly, screamed.

* * *

**And so the chapter ends.**

**Pain: I hope it was good, if not, then I shall have Itachi visit you and aqaint you with the Tsukiyomi.**

**Itachi: Know this, I harbor no ill will towards any of you.**

**Pain: yes yes.**

**Drake: You sons of bitches…You trapped me in a Tsukiyomi where I was forced to watch every episode of Teletubbies, and then you take away my author powers and use them for your own…hay this chapter is pretty good, who typed it?**

**Pain: I did.**

**Drake: good work, good work.**

**Pain: thanks.**

**Drake: it's still not going to save you though. Mugen Tsukiyomi!**

**Pain: Durr….**

**Itachi: Where?**

**Drake: I'm an author Itachi, I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. now review readers, so that I may continue to be pushed to type this.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Akatsuki Pro**

**Drake: Yes, I am back, and Pain is correctly living out his worst nightmares in the Mugen Tsukiyomi.**

**Itachi: You frighten me…**

**Drake: As I should, Itachi, as I should.**

**Akatsuki Pro**

**Chapter 17: Karin and Tobi.**

"Karin!!!" as soon as this single name was screamed by Sasuke every Akatsuki was in Sasuke's room, kunai drawn, all looking ready to slit throats and kick ass.

Until they saw Karin sitting on Sasuke's stomach, her shirt nearly completely unbuttoned and a lacy black bra thrown carelessly to the side of the room, needless to say, they were a bit surprised.

"Fuck dude…" Hidan nudged Itachi, "Your little bro gets more tail than you, there has to be a rule against that…" he snickered when Itachi cast him a glare.

Kisame snickered, hearing Hidan's comment, Kakuzu slapped him upside the head, turned and walked out of the room, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Konan blushed and hurried out of the room, Deidara laughed and walked out, Sasori lazily stepped out with a shake of his head, Zetsu melted back into the floor.

Leaving only Itachi, Pain, Karin and Sasuke in the room. The two remaining Akatsuki however didn't look like they were leaving.

"This isn't a show!" Karin growled, covering her chest with her arms, even though she still had her shirt on which covered them anyways. "Leave!" she added.

Itachi was little more annoyed, and Pain's eye was twitching, "Excuse, miss Karin, why are you raping my newest subordinate?" he asked calmly, a little surprised he hadn't spat it or hissed.

Karin looked confused, "I'm not raping him…" she stated innocently.

Pain pointed to Sasuke's face, "That does not look like the face of a someone who is NOT being raped…" he stated boredly, true enough, Sasuke's showed Shock, surprise, anguish, agony, sadness, fear and was pale as a ghost.

Karin glanced at Sasuke, "I think it brings out his eyes…" she replied thoughtfully.

"Itachi!" Pain snapped his fingers.

Immediately Itachi was in front of Karin, his hand holding her face and forcing her to look into the pair of Mangekyou eyes, "Tsukiyomi…" Itachi intoned. Karin went limp a second later, picking her up Itachi sent a glance at Pain, "What should we do about her?" he asked.

Pain shrugged, "Seal her chakra, lay her next to the Sasuke, seeing as your brother is momentarily…disabled. This will be his punishment for drink all the milk." he stated, smirking.

Itachi nodded, then placed a genjutsu on them, "This will make their position all the more horrifying to Sasuke." he stated, chuckling evilly as they both exited the room, Karin was laying next to Sasuke, her head on his chest and his arms lazily wrapped around her waist.

It was going to be aloud wake up call.

* * *

**Hours alter!**

Deidara was drinking juice and playing Halo, "Sniped noob!" he cheered as he scored an overkill.

Paper wants to play Halo!

He grinned and accepted the invite, leaving mid game and joining Konan's party. "Hello folks!"

* * *

**Game vision!**

XxArtBlastxX: Hello folks!

Paper: Hey Deidara, hold up, we're waiting for Kisame.

Samehada has joined the party!

Samehada: Sup ladies!

XxArtBlastxX: Fuck you un!

Paper: enough, now, we wait for Pain.

God_Realm: Lets get this underway.

Paper: starting!

3...2...1. BEEP!

Team Slayer on Pit Stop!

The four red SPRTANs spawned in, "Alright," Pain said, "Kisame, go right for rocket, Konan, grab sniper, Deidara, you're me on mid!"

"Hai!" the three chorused.

Kisame rushed the rocket hall, only for it to swarmed by five or six frag grenades. "Fucking noobs…" he muttered before they exploded.

PwnsomeMLG killed Samehada!

Lost the lead!

"Son of a bitch!" Kisame growled.

Konan spun around, her BR firing wildly as she four shotted an enemy with camo.

Paper killed HeroinAddict!

Konan spun again and tossed a plasma, sticking another enemy as they exited rocket hall.

BOOM!

Paper stuck Vapour!

DOUBLE KILL!

Gained the lead!

Konan laughed as she was blown away by a rocket launcher.

Good_Boy_Tobi killed Paper.

Konan was speechless.

"WHAT THE HELL?!?!!?!?" She screeched.

"That can't be Tobi…" Deidara said, gritting his teeth.

"That little pest…" Pain growled.

"That no good traitor!" Kisame added, then was blown up said traitor!

Good_Boy_Tobi killed Samehada!

"I got him!" Deidara turned a corner was met with a grenade to the face, "Oh my God!" BOOM

Good_Boy_Tobi stuck XxArtBlastxX!

Lost the lead!

"Tobi!" Pain growled as he rushed him with the AR. Only for Tobi to spin around with the rocket and fire.

BOOM

Good_Boy_Tobi killed God_Realm!

Triple kill!…

Several minutes later.

Akatsuki score- 31

Blue team score-45 Tobi being 44.

"Guys…" Deidara said, "Why is Tobi Godly at this game?" he asked, they were huddled in the corner, fearing the wrath of Tobi.

"Hmmm…." Pain hummed, "This proves troublesome, we can't hope to catch up with this score, not unless Tobi suddenly decides to suck." he stated.

"**I will devour your souls!**" a Malicious voice caused the huddled group to turn to Tobi, standing there with a rocket launcher.

"Oh shit…" the four said as they were blown up.

OVERKILL! EXTERMINATION!

Tobi laughed, turned and tossed a plasma grenade.

Konan spawned in, then was stuck in the face. "Fuck…"

BOOM!

Killtacular! GAME OVER!

**Lobby!**

They left the lobby right away and turned off their 360s, deciding this was a horrible nightmare.

* * *

**Meanwhile…**

Itachi was watching TV in the living room when suddenly.

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!" echoed throughout the house, and Itachi knew his little brother was awake. He listened a moment longer, then there was sobbing and soft muttering. Itachi smirked.

"I am so evil." he said to himself.

**End!**

**Drake: Now review! for your reviews are fun to read and much appreciated!**

**Itachi:...Save me....please...**

**Drake: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA**


	18. Chapter 18

**Akatsuki Pro**

**Drake: I am alive, and I updated. Yays?…right…RIGHT?**

**Itachi: Yes…**

**Drake: That's a good little weasel, very good. Muwhahaha**

**Itachi: … this isn't even a chapter…more a filler.**

**Drake: Are you…trying to defy me? Itachi…tsk tsk…**

**Itachi: I'm sorry! I didn't mean anything by it! Please! *sob* Please!**

**Drake: It's too late for that now Itachi…Mugen Tsukiyomi…**

**Akatsuki Pro**

**Chapter 18: Incompetence**

"Hidan…what the fuck?" Deidara started at the once silver haired nin with a look of annoyance. Hidan had dyed his hair dark blond, put on some sunglasses and donned a tight leather shirt, pants, boots, gloves AND trench coat.

"Cat got your tongue? Deidara…" Hidan drawled boredly.

"What?…where did you learn those words?" The real blond asked in confusion.

"Leave him alone…he's been playing Resident Evil 5 for the past three weeks, just…leave him alone." Kakuzu replied from the couch, having been ignoring the two for awhile now.

"More coffee for you, Kakuzu-sama?" Karin asked with a smile as she walked in with a tray and wearing a waiter's outfit.

Kakuzu nodded, taking a cup and a sip through his mask. "Perfect as always, Karin." he commented.

"Thank you Kakuzu-sama, evening Deidara-sama, Hidan-sama." she said as she walked by down the hall.

* * *

**Pain's room**

Konan and Pain were sitting in Pain's room and were watching Avatar. "Why would they do that?! That tree is their home for Kami's sake!"

"Konan…it's a movie…" Pain said from beside her.

"It's a beautiful movie!" Konan sobbed as she watched the Na'vi scatter as their giant tree hit the ground.

Pain thought he might have felt a stab of sadness hit him, but it was actually his meal giving him heartburn, with a small sigh he belched loudly. "Sorry…" he said when Konan glared at him. "By the way, your tears are messing up your eye shadow."

Konan sighed and continued to watch the movie.

* * *

**Itachi's room.**

Sasuke and Itachi glared at the other. "You shall not have _her_!" Sasuke hissed.

Itachi raised a brow. "_She_ is already in my possession, I must merely claim _her_." he replied coolly.

"I'll die before I see _her_ in your arms!"

"I can arrange that." Itachi said with a nod.

Sasuke was about to reply when Karin walked in with the tray. "Coffee? Sasuke-kun…" Sasuke shook his head. "Itachi-sama?" Itachi shook his head and Karin left soundlessly.

"You'll never have _her_!" Itachi sighed at his brother's repetitive lines.

* * *

**Sasori's room.**

He sat on his chair, eagerly working on his newest puppet, who used to be a telemarketer.

* * *

**Zetsu's room.**

The plant man sat in his room playing Halo 3 with Tobi at his side. "So you're sure Pain doesn't know you're here?" Zetsu's white side asked.

"Yes, Tobi is sure!" Tobi replied. "**If he did, I would not be here**." Madara added his two cents.

"Tr**ue**" Both Zetsu's agreed.

"Zetsu-sama…" Karin's voice came as she entered. "Tobi-sama, coffee?" they both shook their heads and she left.

"Think she'll tell him?"

"Nope…Itachi mind raped her good."

"**He did indeed**…"

Suddenly, Pain's voice echoed throughout the entire house.

"MEETING!!!!! NOW!!!!" everyone instantly knew Pain was a little or less upset.

**End!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Akatsuki Pro**

**Drake: I updated again. yay**

**Sasori: Yes, maybe now we can get back to Halo.**

**Drake: Yeah, we will Sasori, I can assure you of that.**

**Sasori: So…what happened to Itachi?**

**Drake: He's spending time in the Mugen Tsukiyomi seeing his beloved little brother die over and over.**

**Sasori: …That IS evil…**

**Drake: Oh yes, I know, but he needs to learn that I am the author here.**

**Akatsuki Pro**

**Chapter 19: Called out…again!**

"What's this about…?" Deidara asked as he and the other Akatsuki were seated in the living room, all present except for Konan who wouldn't be interrupted from watching the rest of Avatar.

Pain, who had been sitting at the front of the group, Opened his eyes and sighed. "It has been brought to my attention that we have slowed our track record on Halo 3 as of late…" when a few of them began to open their mouths to protest, he raised a hand for silence. "Tell me, aside from Kakuzu, Konan and myself, who else has played Halo these past few days?"

Everyone else was silent, before Itachi raised his hand slightly. "I played the double XP weekend." he stated boredly.

"Oh shit! I knew I forgot something, what was it? Hmm…" Deidara asked the Uchiha.

"Living Dead I believe."

"Fuck! I hate that play list…" Deidara slouched.

"If you're done," Pain said. Causing the two to straighten up again. "I would like to announce that that ends today gentlemen, as you know, a new play list called MLG FFA has been added to the ranks." he said.

"Oh shit! Let me in on that shit!" Deidara said with a grin.

"Hmm…" Itachi said, "Sounds….interesting."

"Finally!" Kisame grinned. Sharing a high five with Kakuzu, who gave his nod of approval for the news.

"I hope it's good…and not some low level play list." Sasori mumbled to himself.

Hidan frowned. "But I haven't beaten Resident Evil 5 on Pro yet…these fuckers don't want to play!" he growled, glaring at everyone he could.

"Hidan, you will play Halo and you will remove those ridiculous sunglasses before I smash your teeth in." Pain said boredly, but getting a small edge in his voice was enough to send a pair of sunglasses flying across the room.

"Now…" Pain said as he brought out a slip of paper. "As-"

"Why! Why does Michelle Rodriguez die in almost every film she is in!" Konan wailed from down the hall, making everyone briefly glance down that way before back to Pain.

"Ahem, yes, as you all know, with this new play list, we must reach our fifties in it as well, I assume this will no problem for any of you?" he asked.

"Not at all Leader-sama!(un)"

Pain nodded. "Off to it then." he said.

Every Akatsuki made their way back to their rooms to log in and play the new play list.

And so, they were back in saddle.

* * *

**Kakuzu and Hidan's party**

"Fucking whore! This is a map? There's about as much cover here as tissue!" The jashinist growled into the mic.

"Hidan, that made no sense, there's no tissue at all in Halo." Kakuzu mumbled as he continued his match.

"Kakuzu! Twelve already!"

"I'm on twenty-one."

"What! I'm not letting some greedy bastard outscore me!"

And so Hidan stepped into overdrive as Kakuzu chuckled.

* * *

**Deidara and Sasori's party**

"I realised why this place is called Smashed, only a drunkard could come up with this shit map. Un." Deidara growled as a grenade bounced around the corner. "FUCK YOU NADE SPAMMING NOOBS!"

Sasori sighed. "Deidara, please stop bitching, you're giving me a headache." Sasori muttered, his blond partner giving his head a serious verbal beating.

"I can't help it!" Deidara moaned. "This map hates me! To massive levels! Un."

Sasori inwardly groaned. "Deidara…" he growled.

"Sasori-danna! I can't help it! I swear-"

"STOP FUCKING EACH OTHER YOU FUCKING FAGS!" Hidan roared from the other room.

Deidara and Sasori were speechless for a moment. "Uh…did Hidan just think we were having sex?"

"With your bitching and moaning, I wouldn't be surprised."

"Fuck you!" Deidara spat, then an explosion rang out. "FUCK YOU TOO!"

* * *

**Kisame and Itachi**

"Kisame, How was the first match?" Itachi asked as he entered his fifth match, glancing around the area he moved further in.

"It was easy, most of these kids are just pretenders to the…holy shit!" there was an explosion. "Fuck…I thought MLG didn't allow rockets…"

"Some maps they have one." Itachi replied, jumping up and behind a player for the assassination, "Ninja…" _Bitch_ he ended in his thoughts.

"Hey Itachi, remember that sweet overkill I got a week ago?"

Itachi smirked. "How could I forget? It was the only time you ever saved my life."

"Haha…" replied Kisame sarcastically. "I fired that rocket, hitting a hog for the triple, then the second and then hitting the camo guy behind you without even knowing it! That was awesome!"

Itachi nodded. "It was," he agreed, then frowned when a plasma stuck to him. "Hell…" he was blown up.

* * *

**Pain and Konan.**

"I am not stopping the movie! It's almost over!" Konan stated, glaring heatedly at the Rinnegan user.

"Konan, it's a new play list! We have to get our fifties in it!" Pain tried to reason with her.

"Hell to the no! We're finishing this beautiful movie! And I'll castrate you if you turn it off now!" she said as she saw Pain reach for the eject button.

"Konan-"

"Don't Konan me Pain!"

* * *

**Tobi and Zetsu**

"I am relatively surprised this play list is actually amusing…" Zetsu said. "**Like a first time lunch after a day of starving…yum**."

Madara nodded. "**Yes, that is true**," he fired a burst into a usheilded enemy. "**This is too easy for my Godliness**." he muttered in disappointment.

* * *

**Sasuke and Karin**

"Oh God…" Sasuke growled, face palming for the sixth time that match. "Why are there grenades on this confined map? That's asking for a spamming!"

"Sperm, Sasuke-kun?" Karin asked, her eyes losing their dazed appearance slowly as she held Sasuke's arm.

Sasuke's eye twitched, "I said spam, Karin, SPAM, not sperm…and please, let go of my arm…I need to concentrate." he hissed at her as she clung to his arm. "Itachi! I think she's breaking out of the mindfuck you put her in! she's turning fan girl!"

"Fuck?…" Karin said.

"Itachi! Itachi? AGH!" Sasuke's screams died out

* * *

**Hidan and Kakuzu**

"Oh my God! who the fuck fucks while playing Halo? WHO?" He growled.

Kakuzu massaged his temples. "You probably would if you had a girlfriend." he mumbled in annoyance.

"Are you saying I can't get a girl!"

"What insane woman would want you? you'd be lucky to get a dead hooker, let alone a live one..."

"...Kakuzu, fuck you, just...fuck you."

"Did I hurt you nonexistant pride?"

"I'm going to kill you!"

"Try it!" And the Akatsuki began their long rise to fifty hood again.

**Next chapter!**

**Akatsuki VS Final Boss!**

"**Our opponent is Final Boss, I'm sure you know them?"**

"**Holy shit…"**

"**Game over man! Game over!"**

"**Kisame, this is unsatisfactory!"**

"**WHERE IS MY HAIRGEL!"**


End file.
